Hiden Strengths

"It is possible to use all of our traits as strengths, if we are mindful of them and purposeful in their use." ~ Angela Marchesani

From: How to keep your strengths from becoming weaknesses

I came across this article today and thought how incredibly relevant it is to my own life. As I reflect on things that I want to improve in the coming year and ways in which I need to focus attention on maintaining my own health and wellbeing, I am all the more mindful of how often my own life is negatively impacted by giving too much of myself to others. 

I like to think that having a caring nature and having the desire to help others is a positive thing. However, many times in my own life this same strength has nearly destroyed me as I have been used, abused, emotionally drained, and overwhelemed by the needs of those whom I am helping. At the end of the day sometimes I wonder why it is that I help all these people, but then no one reaches out to help me? It feels out of balance sometimes and then I start to withdraw and avoid those people whom my heart is actually telling me to reach out to. It's almost a "self-preservation" response. In an atempt to protect my own heart from hurt, I avoid the situation all together. Or I develop a certain sense of resentment when I have given so much to someone who offers nothing in return. The article above really brought this to light as I could completely relate to the author and understand how her strength had also become a weakness at times. 

In the article, Angela uses an analogy of our life being like a play where we possess many characters who are created for different roles. Everyone has a character who takes the lead role (mine is caring), but they also have other characters that would like to share in the limelight. (Have a read of the article, it really is worth the time). After having read this article I realise that I need to take a really close look at my life and acknowledge the different "characters" which I have. I need to call on those characters in times when I feel that my strength of caring is weakening. It may be that in calling on those hidden characters that I find a new "lead" who is perfect for the role at hand.

Instead of walking away or avoiding situations in which my caring nature gets overused and burned out, I need to call on my other characters to step up to centre stage and take a turn. This will allow for me to maintain my personal values without having such a negative effect on my own life. (Turning away from someone in need does NOT line up with my personal values, and at times I have thought this was my only option in order to preserve my own sanity. I was not at peace with the response, but I thought it was the only way.) I am grateful to have been challenged to think in a different way now.

As I enter into 2013, I want to enter with a fresh mindest and be ready to call on all of my characters to play a part in my life. I do not want my strength to be my weakness. I want to acknowledge that there is more within me that can work towards maintaining my personal values and it doesn't have to be a job for only one character. 

If you feel, at times, out of balance or feel that your strengths sometimes weigh you down, I encourage you to take time to reflect on  your personal values and on ALL the character traits which you possess that may help you achieve and maintain those values within your life. Make 2013 the best year of your life!!! 

Discovering a Thing of the Past

Sometimes the past actually is worth having a look at.....Today was a day of discovery for me as I took a culinary journey in the past to discover a fantastic grain that was used by many indigenous people - Amaranth.

I had heard of this incredible super food a while back and had bought a small bag - which has sat un-touched in my pantry for many months. I really just never knew what to do with it and never took the time to search for a recipe. Today it is chilly out with a constant drizzle and after a hard run I was searching for something comforting and filling to enjoy for lunch. My eyes fell on that sad and lonely bag of Amaranth and I thought, "hey, why not?" I decided to give it a go and just prepare it as it said on the back of the package.

Amaranth is a great source of calcium, iron, and protein - which is especially helpful for folks on vegetarian diets or other restricted diets. (They say that Amaranth actually contains more calcium than a glass of milk...so there you go....no need for that added dairy!)

I simply simmered 1 cup of Amaranth on the stove with 3 cups of water and then added a dash of nutmeg and a bit of cinnamon. I cooked this until it looked done (took about 40 min as my stove was acting up and it took ages to actually start boiling). I add a handful of raisins at the end and about a tablespoon of aguave nectar and then let it just sit for about 10 min. The result was amazing and way better than what I had anticipated. (Plus it made at least 3 big portions, so I have lots to enjoy the rest of the week!)

After discovering that I actually love this grain, I began researching how to "properly" cook Amaranth and found some new recipes. I will definitely be trying out some of these and will share them at a future date. One if the biggest suggestions I have so far is to boil your water FIRST, and then add the Amaranth. This will cut down on the cooking time tremendously. You should really only need to cook it for 20-25 min and then let it sit for about 10. Just something you can do while you check emails and that. You don't really have to watch it or stir it.

So, if you are like me and have not given much thought about the tride and true foods that worked so well for our forefathers....maybe give it a go and see what you think! 

Finding the Fullness and Completeness that is YOU

Something that I have been mindful of in the past month or so, and something that I have contemplated over and over throughout my yoga practice is the idea of finding completeness within yourself.

I must clarify here, that I am not saying that God is not apart of that. When I view my own efforts in my life, God is obviously a part of that effort as His spirit is alive within me. What I am saying here, is that my fullness and completeness does not rely on anyone else. I do not need a friend or partner to fill an empty void in my life. What I need is to recognise what is causing that void and find it's completeness within myself.

The real reason for my contemplation stems from how much I have relied on my husband, in the past, to fulfill my needs. To fill in the gaps of emptiness, to provide the love and acceptance that my heart desired. To heal the brokenness within me, and cover the past hurts. In the first years of our marriage I placed certain expectations around him with the intent that he would fulfill all of those needs. When he has not been present (either physically or emotionally) I have grieved over this loss and emptiness. (Many military wives can probably relate to this experience during deployments and trainings). Recognising that my husband is likely to leave again on business for several months next year, I wanted to get a grounding on these emotions and really understand where they were coming from and how to respond to them. I realised after much reflection that the reality is that I was relying on my husband to fill spaces within myself that only I can fill.

After having this revelation I began a journey towards finding my own fullness and completeness within myself. In coming to terms with the "needs" that I have and the roots of where these needs come from. Through self reflection and being present with these emotions, I hope to truly develop within myself a stronger, more confident, and independent woman.

Already through my yoga practice, and through journaling and self-reflection, I have made huge strides towards achieving this. I believe that because of this, I will have a totally new and refeshing perspective on our time apart in the coming year. I believe this time will be enlightening for both of us and will strengthen our relationship by strengthening us as individuals.

It was a bit ironic when I got the email today from Yoga Journal about this same concept: Soul Mate I really encourage you to have a read of this article as it offers some really valuable points and may prove to be just the push you need in your life to search yourself for answers, rather than relying on someone else for those answers.

I know that I have many friends who believe in the "Knight in shining armour" and the idea that when they find their ONE sole mate, it will be the "missing piece" in their life. I highly encourage some self-reflection here to recognise that you have everything you need within yourself to be whole and complete. When you find that completeness within yourself, I believe it is THEN that you find true happiness with another.

Every day my love for my husband grows as I learn to love myself more and more, and to rely on him less and less for that fulfillment. Through finding contentment and peace within ourselves as individuals we can become a stronger and happier unit.

Mantra: "Allow yourself to sit with the emotions that you experience today and acknowledge that these feelings are part of who you are. Let yourself be right where you are at as you find contentment in the person that you are." ~ Namaste

Happiness is in THIS moment

One of the most valuable things that I have learned in life is that the present moment is all we have. We cannot live in the past, and we have no idea how much of the future we will even experience. It is only in the here and now that we can truly be present and find happiness. It is only in THIS moment where we can influence how we respond to circumstances and change the way that we react.

This understanding has become so foundational in my life, and as a result, I have really been enjoying the time that I have been given. After finishing off my degree and awaiting the start of my new job, I have had more time on my hands to really embrace the things that bring me joy. As part of that, I have also realised how much time I waisted each day not taking advantage of the things that bring me peace and happiness.

This realisation has caused me to have a new perspective on my life and make some changes towards adapting my daily routines to include plenty of time to just be present and enjoy the life that I have. I have increased my daily yoga practice which has brought me so much physical and emotional release. Every day I also do something that I love; wheather it be painting, quilting, reading a book, talking to a friend on the phone, or just spending time with Travis. It's about ensuring that every day is filled with some form of joy and pleasure and taking the time to embrace the beauty that is there.

Once I had a close look at my life I also realised that I need to focus more attention outward and become more invovled in the community and giving to others. I found while I was studying that between study and work my life became quite a bit self-centred (more due to the circumstances than a selfish nature). Now that I have been freed from my relentless hours of study, my life can now focus a lot more on doing for others and getting involved. This is definitely one of the most positive changes that I plan to see in 2013.

As for my running, and taking the time to really physically become more active: well, that has been a fabulous achievement. I am now back to where I was about a year ago and gradually starting to see that strength come back with every day. I will start a new training programme in January and see where it leads me. For now, I am truly pleased with the progress.

Mantra: "Let go of all that no longer serves you and embrace the happiness that is offered to you in this present moment" ~ Namaste

Raw, Vegan Energy Bars

These are SERIOUSLY amazing. My husband even loved them!

* Key to this is that you soak and sprout your buckwheat first (takes two days or so.....super easy. Soak for 8 hrs, drain. Then rinse and drain twice a day for two days or until you have a "tail" on the sprout.) If you have not sprouted before just google it there are heaps of instructions on it and it's super easy....plus it tripples the nutritional value of the buckwheat.... Once the sprouts are as long as you prefer (your preference), you can dehydrate them in the oven on the lowest setting with the door cracked open (or a dehydrator if you are super special and have one!!)

Recipe:
2 Cups soaked, sprouted, and dehydrated buckwheat
1/2 Cup raisins, chopped (or you can add dried cranberries)
1/2 Cup raw sunflower seeds
1/2 Cup raw pumpkin seeds
6 Tbsp agave nectar (or maple syrup)
3 Tbsp ground flax seed
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla
2 Tbsp coconut oil

Mix all ingredients together and press down in a baking pan (I used baking paper under it, but I don't think you have to). Cover and refridgerate for a few hours until set. You can cut these to whatever size you like and keep them in the fridge or freezer.

Kilojoules for medium square = 869kj (packed full of healthy energy!!)

*Now, I did not have any coconut oil on hand so I used melted butter. This worked fine, but the bars did not stick well together (they were a bit too easy to break a part). Because of this, I used them on top of vanilla yogurt and it was a treat to die for!! SERIOUSLY amazing......Next time I will try with the coconut oil and see if it sticks together better.

Progress

I thought I would update as I am now three weeks into my challenge. So far, so good. I have been so faithful to my running training programme (although it's coming a long a bit slowly at times), and maintaining my daily yoga practice.

I highly recommend getting involved in local yoga classes. I began attending a hot yoga class once a week and have loved each time I have been. It's a "reward" for me, and amazing to practice with a great group energy.

My eating habits have drastically changed over these past three weeks. The first two weeks I kept a food diary to see how I was getting on and to get a feel for how much I should be eating and what types of foods carried what types of kilojoules. I hate being so obsesive with food, so it was only to get an idea and not something I plan to do all the time (also because I find it VERY time consuming trying to count kilojoules for homemade food/recipes.....)

Some of the biggest lessons learned is how many kilojoules are in small foods like a small muffin or a handful of raisins!! (When I was working at the hospital I was having a big muffin several times a week as a "treat" - oops.....learning really quickly that this was NOT the right move to make! haha)

I have also been 3 weeks now without a glass of wine, and only had chocolate in a very small portion once a week. (Hoping to cut this down further). One of my biggest challenges is potlucks. For some reason people insist on bringing desserts to potlucks. If you are reading this PLEASE do everyone a big favour and next time you are invited to a potluck take a HEALTHY snack, or better yet, a healthy main dish!!! Those who are trying to eat right as a lifestyle will be so grateful! This week I have another potluck and I am planning to make a nice vegetarian main so that I can have a nice meal too! haha....I think potlucks used to be a special occasion thing, but these days it feels like there is one every week! (Healthy lifestyles NIGHTMARE!!)

While I am not that pleased with the weight loss progress over the past three weeks (only 1kg) I do acknowledge that my clothes are already fitting better and I feel heaps better too. As with any new start to really strong exercise routines you do tend to gain a bit of weight at first because of the added muscle being built. I'm not too concerned, but it's just going to make my goal of 8kg a bit harder to achieve.

I have been trying some amazing new recipes that I will start to share on here soon. I am enjoying trying new things and spicing up my vegetarian diet a bit.

Mantra: Be proud of where you are at today - Today is the day that counts. ~ Namaste

12 Week Challenge

Now that my clinical placements are finished, it's time to start crackin' again and get back in shape! While I am very proud of having kept some really great healthy lifestyle changes over the course of my studies, it's time to really focus now.

I decided to really look long and hard at my health and to make some adjustments that will better help me meet my physical goals. I really want to get back into good running shape where running is FUN again!! I want to enjoy it, instead of struggle.....So, I have set myself a 12 week course towards getting back to a place where running feels enjoyable. I am hoping that at the end of this, I will be fit enough to start a 10K training programme.

Also, as part of that goal, I really want to take a closer look at my healthy diet. I decided that somewhere along the way there must be something "unhealthy" that I am doing since my waist-line has expanded over the past two years. I know that stress and age are definitely factors, but there must be more to the story.....So, I started a food diary.

SHOCKING what you find out about yourself when you keep a food diary. I kept thinking how little I ate, and how all I eat is so healthy......yeah, not so much.....turns out that some of those "healthy" snacks are worth more kilojoules than my main meals!!!! (For example, almonds and raisins are very high in kilojoules, fat, and sugar....hum...might need to re-think how often I "munch" on those!!!) Also, I was surprised at how fast the kilojoules add up.

So, with these new adjustments I am hoping to meet my goals within the next 12 weeks and to start 2013, healthy and strong!!!

Why wait for a New Year's Resolution?....Why not achieve those goals in the next 12 weeks leading up to 2013!!

"Change starts today - in this present moment. Embrace the change that belongs to you" ~ Namaste

Change Starts Today

Many months ago, I created a mantra which I used for a while that talked about how change starts today....Don't wait until Monday or the beginning of the month to make goals for yourself and make change; Start TODAY!!

These past two months have been full-on for me, and it has been a struggle to maintain any form of routine or plan around my exercise and food intake. Because of this, the mantra is quite fitting. Instead of making a "plan" around when I will run/swim and what my "routine" will be...I just do what feels right TODAY and get on with it.....

I am still running, swimming, and doing yoga, and yes I am still eating healthy. The trouble is that with a busy schedule and shift work, my schedule changes every day. This makes routine and "normality" a bit difficult. I don't cook as much as I normally would, and I think that has lead me to reach for cheese and crackers and other "easy" snacks rather than the good green-smoothies I enjoyed over summer holiday. Fruits and veggies are also much more expensive in the winter months and it's hard to justify the added expense, so I tend to eat more of the cheaper veggies like potatoes, carrots and mushrooms. (No harm in that, but everything in moderation). I have also gotten into a terrible habbit of adding in more sweets. I find that working long, stressful hours causes me to crave sugar. I am commiting TODAY to stop this process. Not waiting until tomorrow - TODAY I begin.....It should not be too hard as I have only been having a little.

On a positive note I have given up coffee. I decided to go "cold-turkey" (unfortunately made the decision to make the change "today" on my first run of night shifts....not really the very best of timing...but hey, when you decide to make change, you cannot always wait for the right time to implement it!!) This was four weeks ago! I am allowing myself one coffee a week, and so far that has worked out quite well. I will cut that back even further, but at the moment that is a good treat for me. (And I only get a tiny one - 6oz) I have, instead been drinking green tea while on shift work.

I have also cut my wine intake way back to only 1-2 glasses a week. Sometimes none at all. (Working night and evening shifts has helped with this new change a lot! haha).

All of these changes have been very positive. Unfortuantely my waistline has not shown any change or improvement - actually I have probably gained weight - but in all truthfulness, I attribute most of that to the stress levels and lack of INTENSE exercise. (And the added sugar/breads that I have been consuming...even in small amounts it still counts). My exercise has definitely taken a more relaxed approach as I want to just stay healthy right now. I don't want to challenge myself or push myself, I just want to maintain a healthy balance. This doesn't help with weight-loss, but it has DEFINITELY helped with keeping me well and giving me the energy I need to maintain my clinical practice and massive study load.

Our hospital had an outbreak of norovirus as well as many staff out sick with the flu. I managed (through good diet, and exercise) to avoid both of these. I solely attribute this to the lifestyle choices that I make and the practice of being in-tune with my body. When I felt worn down, I took some extra vitamins, did yoga and rested. When I felt well enough, I ran.....When I felt I needed some extra energy I ate a nice big omlette with lots of veggies and spinach and had a cuppa.

When coulleages have been out sick for weeks and other students have also missed many days of clinical placement, I am grateful that I maintain a healthy lifestlye which promotes wellness. I may not be the skinniest woman, and I may not have ripped muscles, but honestly, I feel healthy and I feel strong and energised. I am grateful for the choices that I make each day.

You really are what you eat.......Enjoy Eating Healthy!!  This is a really good article that a friend shared recently. Have a read of it if you have any doubts about people who choose a vegetarian lifestyle. I definitely don't feel "deprived" I feel energised and full of life!

Mantra: "Let today be the day you embrace change, and let this present moment be the moment you find peace" ~ Namaste

Enabling your future

Do you ever wonder why un-certainty causes so much worry and fear? What is it that we are truly afraid of? When we are facing possible changes in our career or a big move, why do we not view that as an endless possibility of future happiness? Why, instead, do we wrap ourselves up in continuous worry and anxiety about all the "what if's"; waiting for something to go wrong?

These are some thoughts that have been in my mind of late. As I near the end of my nursing studies and begin to embark on a new adventure as a registered nurse, I have been faced with many uncertainties. In New Zealand we are highly encouraged to enroll in an after-graduate nursing program that allows us the opportunity to work for a year as a registered nurse, but at the same time continue our education and work with supervision and guidance from more experienced nurses. These programs are highly competative to get into, and unfortunatley it's not very easy to obtain employment without having completed the program. Because of this, a lot of student nurses find that in the final year of study a lot of anxiety is triggered by the upcoming applications to these programs and the fear of not getting a place. On top of that, you add the stresses of finding employment in the location where you wish to live. (Not to mention the added pressure of having a spouse who must also find a job in the same location.) It is all rather intense.

I like to believe about myself that I am not an overly stressful person, but that I am somewhat easy going and take things as they come - It has occured to me lately that I might be kidding myself! I think it is natural that all of us have a tendency towards worry and stress when we feel that things are out of our control, and the future seems un-known/un-certain. We all like to be in control, ae!

I read an article about Embracing Uncertainty that really made me re-think how I view this upcoming change. It reminded me that I can either look towards the future with fear and anxiety, or I can embrace the possibilities that these changes will bring and allow myself to have control over my emotions in the process. I am the only person who can control how I feel about the situation and I have a certain self-responsibility in that. I have the opportunity here to enable myself to find happiness in this present moment even when there is chaos and un-certainty around me. I have control over that part.

So, for me, the lesson here isn't that there is some magic answer around how to stop stressing over the future; but rather, that in amongst that stress I have the ability to find peace and to just embrace all the posibilities that will come in their own time.

Are you facing some big changes ahead of you? Try letting go of all the anxiety and un-certainty and just allow yourself to find peace in knowing that YOU have control over how you react to this present moment. You have the ability to enable your own happiness.

Mantra: "I allow myself to rest in the peace that is mine in this present moment, and to look upon the future with ease, knowing that the possibilities ahead are enabled by my calm of mind."  ~ Namaste

Finding Relaxation

I have had a bit more time lately to indulge in one of my most favourite hobbies - Art. I find painting so therapeutic and relaxing. These past few months have been quite busy between school, clinical placements and home life. So, I find that taking a few hours out every now and then is really good to help stay grounded and keep from getting too stressed out.

This painting of a seascape around the Honeycomb Rock area is one of my most recent paintings.

I find that painting at this particular time in my life is much needed as I have had some pretty intense clinical placements this semester. I am currently finishing a three week placement with the mental health crisis team. That placement has been one of my favourites so far. We are nearing the end of our first semester of this final year of nursing, so it is getting pretty exciting.

I was honoured this semester with being a recipient of the Freemason's scholarship which has helped support me through this year of school. It was such a humbling experience recieving this and feel so priviledged to have earned this award. It has also allowed me the opportunity to spend some extra time volunteering and getting more involved in my community - which I really appreciate.

As for my healthy living, well, I have really changed some things in my diet and have been cooking some new foods to incorporate more beans and different grains into my diet. I am still running, but have been out sick for two weeks so it might be hard to get back into it. I am hoping it won't be too bad. I am still swimming and enjoying that time with my swim buddy, Linda. It is awesome having a workout partner to encourage you and to just be there with you when you are working out - just makes it more of a social time rather than a struggle.

I have found that eating healthy and exercising, while challenging when on placements, is really worth the effort!! I feel a lot less stressed and more energised to give of myself to others. That's what it's all about anyway, ae?!

Mantra: "Allow yourself to be renewed in this present moment so that you can be a support and shinning light to those around you." ~ Namaste

Life is Good

As earlier I compared my third year of nursing school to 9 months of pregnancy...It would be fair to say that I have passed over the 'morning sickness' phase and have moved into the more enjoyable months of pregnancy.

I am now over three months in, and finishing off my last two days of the first major placements. It has been an amazing experience, but I am definitely exhausted and looking forward to a two week break (oops, I mean, study leave!)

Last weekend I took a break from the books and Travis and I went tramping up Mt. Taranaki. It was a huge accomplishment physically and was a great chance to be reminded of how amazing our bodies are - when being challeneged and pushed to the limit, they step up and meet that challenge! I have never been pushed so hard physically and it was a real rush to hit the summit.

My running and weight lifting is still going well, but I definitely need to re-evaluate my eating habits as they have kind of gotten all messed up with shift work and all. Over Easter holiday I am hoping to really get back on track with my healthy eating and I am actually going to start experimenting a little with adding in some fish and lamb to my diet. I have been a vegetarian for over three years now, and I am feeling really good, so think it might be a good time to see how I adjust to some new healthy meats. Still keeping 98% of my diet fruit/vege though....But hoping to cut down on some of the carbs that get thrown in as fillers. Looking to cut back on crackers and breads and pastas.

Anyway, just changing things up a bit for variety's sake....Otherwise life is pretty amazing at the moment. It's getting exciting knowing that our lives are about to change drastically and in a very big sort of way. I am really looking forward to my future, and enjoying what the present moment has to offer me too!

Mantra: "Let the beauty of today enhance the joy of tomorrow" ~ Namaste

Time Flies

I honestly cannot believe how quickly time flies by. I have just completed my first three week placement in a surgical ward, and today I start my next three week stint in a medical ward. This is a huge turning point in the semester as we are already getting close to halfway through!

I knew that this year would go by quickly, but I never dreamed it would go this fast! It has been amazing learning and growing and being challenged so much along the way.

Finding peace in the midst of chaos is one of the foundational concepts in yoga practice. I guess that is one of the things that I appreciate the most with doing yoga is that you learn how to really be calm when everything else is flying past you and swirling around. At first I was struggling with this concept at the beginning of the semester, but now I feel like I am finally getting a grip on it.

I am still running and swimming and I started lifting weights again, but I am definitely allowing myself some grace with that and not planning to run as far of distances and push myself beyond what I can do in this moment. I am extremely limited for time, so I have decided that something is better than nothing and I am going for shorter, more intense workouts these days.

Overall it has been a fabulous year and I am really excited to see what the future holds in the next few months.

Bring On Third Year

Well, this week is the official start to my third - and final - year of University. I will (Lord willing) graduate in 9 short months and get my practicing certificate as a Registered Nurse!

For me, these next 9 months will be much like being pregnant. There will be LOTS of growing pains, nausea, stress, anxiety, excitement, anticipation...you name it...We will consider the state finals my "labour" and the practicing certificate my "baby". While some people really enjoy being pregnant, others suffer through day by day just to glory in the final result.

I draw this comparison because nearly every one of my friends has recently (or is presently) going through their own REAL pregnancies. I can only relate on this level....haha

So, yes, school starts this week. I am looking forward to getting back at it - but to be honest I have been doing a bit of research and study these past three weeks as well in preparation - turns out I may be a bit of a nerd!

My running is going well - up to 10K now, so getting much closer - I am still training for my half-marathon, but have been working nights the past two weeks which has thrown a bit of a curve ball to my schedule. I am being flexible and recognising that all is not lost. Tuesday night is the Super 7 Series that the Manawatu Striders put on each year, so I'm excited to participate in that. This will be my first race in well over a year. (7K race)

The sugar detox went really well. I definitely feel much healthier and better. I have also been making some significant changes to my diet incorporating more grains and legumes into my daily diet. I was getting into a bit of a fix just eating salad and green smoothies and realised that I had unintentionally reduced my intake of protein and grains. I decided to give my diet a bit of an overhaul and change things up a bit. I have been trying some great new vegetarian recipes lately as well, and really enjoying the change.

Have you made any significant changes to your lifestlye in 2012?

Change starts today!