Life on the Mend

Well, I finally finished my semester and what a relief it is to be done! Second year nursing is no joke. They claim that if you survive it then you will be home free from there on out as this year is, by far, the hardest. This puts me halfway through the program so I am stoked about that.

We are in the middle of our winter break here in NZ, so this is allowing me a moment to recover what remains of my sanity and attempt to get my life back together! I have thoroughly enjoyed having the week to organize things and get everything sorted out.

As it is the first of July I have decided this is the most appropriate day to start another yoga streak and attempt to get back my dedication to the practice. I have organized how I will incorporate exercise into my daily schedule and have been going to a few gym classes of late. My desire is to maintain some form of commitment next semester even when things start to fall a part. I kind of let it all go towards the end of the past semester and I really don't want to do that again. It's just not a healthy response to give up your exercise and moments of relaxation - those are the things that should be foundational for getting you through stressful times!

So, this is me attempting to get my life back together and attempting to forget about all that I did not accomplish and all that I "let go" and instead focus on what I will do in the future and where I am at in this moment.

Mantra: "I allow myself to forget about what was before, and focus on the here and now." ~ Namaste

The life of a student

To say that my life is consumed with books, reading, lectures, training, essays, research, case studies and more is really an understatement. I thought I would simply post a blog to let you all know that life is very real for me right now as are all the struggles that we on a daily basis. The struggle to get out of the warm bed in the cold, early, winter mornings...the struggle to decline that second, third, fourth, fifth cup of coffee to get through the day....the struggle to somehow manage the energy to make a healthy dinner and spend time with your family....the struggle not to judge yourself too harshly when there just wasn't enough time in the day to fit in a good workout (or when there is, but you opt to rest on the couch instead).....yep, the list goes on

So, yes, I have felt the pressures of late....I started a second job while on my clinical placements and in the midst of both jobs and clinicals I also have been completing my St. John training for the volunteer side of my life. It's been a bit of a whirl-wind really. It's all been great, and I am really blessed with the opportunities that have arisen in the past month or so.....But with great opportunities come some sacrifice....

I confess that I haven't run in several weeks now. I have gone to a few classes at the gym but they have been dreadfully sporadic. My yoga practice has also dwindled to a few times a week.....On the up side I have maintained a really healthy diet and even lost a few lbs in the process.

So, my real point in checking in on here is to say that I am every bit as human as the next person and I sometimes let life get in the way of all the positive things I try to achieve in my daily routine......My commitment is to get back on the wagon and get things rolling again in a proper and faithful routine before I start into second semester. I am determined not to let uni control my life! haha......

Mantra: "I will not let life control me, but will accept the challenge of each moment with grace knowing that each moment I have the ability to cope and find peace." ~ Namaste

Faithfulness Comes in Many Forms

Week five of my challenge was a mixture of things, really. I consider this mixture to merely be a reflection of how faithfulness can come in many forms. While you may not follow your "plan" exactly, you can still be faithful to the end result through staying mindful of your goals.

This is how my week went. It was the first week of placements for me. The challenge of early morning starts and then going to work for a few hours after placements meant that I did not have the time to devote to my running that I expected. However, I still managed a good week with two days at the gym, three long yoga practices as well as my daily yoga routine, and a really nice long hike as well.
This spot on our tramp was so peaceful and we rested here for a few minutes to just take a moment out to reflect on the rejuvenating power of mother earth.

This week many across the world celebrated Earth Day and remembered the need to be mindful of how we are treating our planet. For me, this is important because I find so much rest and calm when I am out in nature. When I go for long tramps with Travis I find that the energy I gain from walking through the rain forest environment is just so rejuvenating to me and I am able to start my week off with a renewed since of energy. We must protect that and support those working in conservation. In New Zealand it is mostly due to the Department of Conservation (DOC) that we even have these track available to us. So, in honor of Earth Day, I just have to say thank you to those working and supporting DOC in New Zealand. Also a special thanks to each and every person who recycles, cares for the earth, and is mindful of how what you do every day impacts our planet.

So, this week has been a reminder to me of what commitment and faithfulness truly is and how sometimes the way we accomplish this may change, but the motivation and outcome remain the same. While I may not have met my specific targets for how many days a week I would run this week, I still stayed faithful to my intention of eating healthy and maintaining a balance of exercise throughout the week.

Mantra: "Let your faithfulness guide you towards the goals you have established for yourself in this present moment." ~ Namaste

Week Four

This week I have been really faithful to eating healthy and exercising. My exercising did not include the full amount of running and ab work that I planned, but instead involved a lot of cross training. In my opinion, it still counts - especially when most of that involved distance walks - I did, incorporate two long and intense yoga sessions this week along with my normal daily yoga practice. Overall, I consider this week to be a great success.
Catching the sunrise in Napier was the highlight of my week. There is something about a sunrise that rejuvenates the soul reminding you that it's a fresh day.

This week I fit in some good shifts with the St. John ambulance and definitely enjoyed that. While 13 hour night shifts definitely tire you out for the following day, it is well worth the sacrifice for the experience gained. I am looking forward to more of this, as my official recruitment day is the 30th of April.

Travis and I did a lovely tramp around Cape Kidnappers yesterday and I think that is just what I needed before beginning my first week of placements tomorrow. My goal this week is to maintain my exercise routine even in the midst of the challenging schedule ahead of me. I am also committing to taking my lunch every day and packing a healthy snack so that I am not tempted to eat unhealthy things. The goal this week, I think is to keep the stress levels down and to just focus on one task at a time.

Mantra: "I allow myself to embrace the calm of this moment while acknowledging the challenge as it passes by." ~ Namaste

Week Three

Sometimes life just sets you back a pace or two in order to prepare you for what is ahead. This is how I feel about week three...

I had a very busy but incredible week this week and it sort of got in the way of my good intentions for running. I still got some great exercise in this week and still kept up with my yoga, but not to the extent that I had hoped for.

Part of what held me back this week is that I got my flu shot, which the first day made me pretty tired. After that I worked a 12 hour night shift with the St. John ambulance and that definitely drained me of my energy for the following day. Last night I did a 13 hour shift as well so yeah, I pretty much just needed a recovery day today. I have been overly gracious to myself this week and let myself have a break, and while that probably isn't great, I know that it is necessary in order to keep my immune system strong in preparation for my clinical placements.

So, that was my third week of my "Challenge"....

On the bright side, I found the most fabulous curry recipe - EVER - and made a beautiful vegetarian curry tonight for dinner. I have to share the link for the recipe here because it is seriously the best curry I have ever made or tasted! The last time I made a pumpkin curry I was quite disappointed in it and it was too thick and just not that special....This one was absolutely a beautiful combination of a whole bunch of ingredients and it truly was lovely! I will be enjoying this all week....

Thai Pumpkin Curry

My mantra this week: "Don't be discouraged by all that was undone, but be encouraged by all that you will still accomplish in the coming days." ~ Namaste

Week Two - Reflections

Week two of my challenge for extra running and monitored eating, was not such a great one to be honest. I was pretty overwhelmed with the amount of work I needed to do for my assignments as well as additional hours I was putting in at the bakery. So, overall this week was a bit of a dud, really.

Having said that, I did a lot of reflecting and really came again to the place of acceptance and grace in this moment and realized that every week doesn't have to be perfect and doesn't have to live up to the expectations that we have for it. We are who we are in each moment, regardless of whether we accomplished that which we desired to do.

So, this week was about finding ways to maintain balance and wellness when I was struggling. I am happy that I have come to a place where I can recognize within myself when I am struggling and stressed and when I just need to take a step back and allow myself to recover. So, on the days when I was struggling for energy and to cope, I did some extra yoga and chose that over the more strenuous running.

My goal for running four times this week was brutally un-achieved when I only ran twice this week. However, both runs were moderately long and I am still happy to have done that. I also did a nice long tramp today so that counts as well, I think.

I was faithful to my continued yoga practice actually doing two-a-day yoga this week. I did not get in my two hour long sessions, but I am still happy with keeping up my yoga streak - Day 83 today!

Abs was good this week. I did about four days which was progress towards my five...

Diet this week was fairly good with a magnificent amount of vegetables consumed. I do confess that I ate a muffin one night and today I had a little baked apples with brown sugar/oats on top...Not much brown sugar though. The one thing that I am definitely proud of is the amount of times I declined chocolate and sweets! Several times this week I had every chance to splurge, but I turned it down and drank my green smoothie instead, so I am proud of that.

The point of doing this challenge is simply to ground myself and work harder towards building that strong foundation of lifestyle choices which will benefit my health, both now and in the future. It's not about proving something to myself or denying myself anything. I am happy with where I am at in my life, and I just want to learn how to better experience where I'm at.

Mantra: "Reach out to the new experiences of each day, and embrace where you are at in this present moment." ~ Namaste

Maintaining Commitment

Well, this was the first week of increasing intensity in my running and applying more commitment to my healthy eating....

So far, so good. I ran 4 days this week (5 if you count the 1K warmup I did on my cardio day), and did 2 long yoga practices this week as well as my daily routine. I managed to do 4 days of abs this week, but didn't quite hit my goal of 5...still an improvement.

No chocolate or sugar this week...

I did have a coffee on Monday but I allowed myself that slip up because I was in an all day training class and I was DYING! haha....

Overall I am really happy with the progress I have made and I feel great. Continuing to look forward and make adjustments as I will be on study leave for the next three weeks. I am definitely excited about this extra time to do some of the things that usually get dumped in place of school/work.

Mantra: "Don't underestimate the power of commitment" ~ Namaste

Commitments

At the start of my semester my goal was simply around finding peace and calm in the midst of the chaos of my schedule - to commit to daily yoga practice and take time out to just relax. Today was day 69 of that yoga streak and it continues to bless me and allow me to de-stress in the midst of my crazy student life!

Because I did not want to over extend myself, I set no expectations for my exercise/running, no real dedication to any specific goals or anything like that.

Now that the stressful part is over I am coming into a season where there is more availability for my running and more opportunity for commitment here. Without overstepping and pushing myself too hard, I want to work towards a healthy goal of committing to a 40 day challenge.

This challenge allows me to utilize the time I have on study break as well as the first two weeks of my placements to focus on changes that will positively impact my health:

40 Day Plan:

During the week - No coffee, No sugar, No alcohol, No snacks other than vegetables
Run - minimum of four days a week with mixture of 5, 7, 11k's
Yoga - continue daily yoga practice with minimum of two one hour sessions per week
Abs - some form of core workout five days per week
Weekends - tramping, long walks, freedom to have coffee

Tomorrow starts Day 1 and I will post once a week to update my progress with this commitment. My only real expectations for the outcome after 40 days is that I would like to feel stronger and if I lost a few lbs in the process I would be quite happy with that.

It is still all about finding acceptance and grace in the moments that challenge me, so keeping this at my center is really important to me.

Mantra: "I allow myself to embrace new commitments while still accepting the person that I already am." ~ Namaste

Peace in Chaos

It is amazing to me how quickly life seems to go by and how sometimes you can feel like it is just moving right past you. School has been amazing this semester, but really hard-out and I have been completely bombarded and overwhelmed with research, assignments, readings etc. That is merely my own personal daily life; not to mention, the chaos and destruction globally in the past several weeks.

Like the waves crashing; this can be seen as fearful/scary, or as a beautiful and restorative sound...It is not always about the circumstance we are facing, but about how we respond to and deal with that circumstance.

Universally I think it is time to just take a step back and have a mental "time out"....To take a moment to allow our minds to quiet....To be grateful for all that we have, and honor all that we have lost...To embrace the present moment and allow our breath to give us that life force that will provide us the energy and strength we need to move forward...To let go of all that no longer serves us and to acknowledge the space that is created in that release...To fill the empty space with a sense of calm and peace...

In the midst of all the demands of my course I have been managing to take daily "time out" to practice my yoga and just have a moment to focus on the present and get grounded in that. I have also been able to recognize when I needed a break and time to just rest. This is a huge shift from my usual perfectionistic nature where I am always doing and going and trying to be something bigger/better....This shift in my mentality has been tremendous for me in this semester and I can truly feel the difference in my daily life.

It is not always easy to slow down and find peace in chaos - which is the challenge, really. In yoga we practice the idea of recognizing challenge and breathing through that moment with acceptance but not "responding" to it....This is the idea that I am speaking of here, to be able to see that there is challenge and chaos and demands around you, but to be able to quiet your mind and just breathe through it. This is how I apply my yoga practice to my daily life.

Are you facing challenges and demands in your daily life? How are you responding to that? Are you letting the stress of this chaos control you, or are you making a conscious effort to acknowledge the challenge without responding to it?

Mantra: "Let the quiet of your mind bring peace in this present moment, and let your breath bring the energizing life force into every corner of your body" ~ Namaste

The Grace to Change

Just as the sun sets and rises again, so to our lives can have opportunity to set on the things of the past and rise to a new future...Discovering new things about yourself is a journey, really. I suppose none of us are ever fully matured, or "grown", we are constantly moving forward in our lives learning from our past and seeking a better future.

This week has been amazing for me. I just feel that I have grown so much in the ways that I have experienced things, the way I have dealt with situations, and the way that I feel about myself personally. It has been a very reflective week for me, and I think the reason that I share this is because I want to encourage you to also take time to reflect on where you are right now and where you have been in the past - Are you growing yourself? Are you challenging your thoughts? Are you changing behaviors within yourself so that you can experience life more fully?

To stay right where we are at in our lives can cause us to become quite stagnant, so it is actually good to constantly be changing and growing.

Mantra: "I allow myself the grace to grow and change without judgment towards the person that I once was." ~ Namaste

Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness Meditation is a form of meditation which focuses on the experiences of the present moment. This type of insight meditation brings the mind to a state of awareness about the experiences and emotions felt. By accepting the experiences of the present moment without judgment there is a sense of peace and calmness.

Yesterday I came across this amazing journal article about recent findings on the influence of Mindfulness Meditation causing an increase in the gray matter of certain regions of the brain - mostly in the hippocampus - The increase in density in these areas may lead to an improvement with memory, stress responses, and an increase in serotonin (affecting mood/depression) among other things. The article is foundational for future research in this area, so I thought I would share that article with you:


Holzel, B., Carmody, J., Vangel, M., Congleton, C., Yerramsetti, S., Gard, T., & Lazer, S. (2011). Mindfulness practice leads to increases in regional brain gray matter density. Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, 191, 36-43.

Mantra: "Live each day in complete awareness of the present moment." ~ Namaste

Embracing Fear

What is fear if we do not acknowledge it? How can we overcome that which we do not understand?

On my run this morning my thoughts were focused on this coming semester and what I expect to gain from the classes that I will be taking. I have long been nervous about this particular semester because the majority of the focus is on the Mental Health aspect of our nursing program. We are fully trained in this capacity so that we will be qualified to work in this component of nursing should the need/opportunity arise (If not properly certified you cannot work in this type of nursing in NZ).

So, my fears revolve around my own insecurities and the struggles that I have faced in my own life. As I was thinking about this so much this morning I realized that what I fear the most is that I will not be able to let go of the pain that I witness/experience during my placement and that I will bring it home and carry their burdens with me. I have always been one to care for people so deeply that I can literally feel their pain as if it were my own....While this may be good in some ways, it can be physically and emotionally exhausting as well. (And obviously if you did that for every patient you would yourself become a patient.) So, this is my biggest fear...

What I hope to gain from this semester and the expectations that I have is that I want to learn how to overcome this fear and learn how to properly handle working in this type of environment. I want to have the confidence to help people without bringing harm to myself.

So, my intention is just that - By acknowledging my fear, I want to find the right way to truly overcome it so that I can be a stronger and more courageous woman.

Is there something in your life that you fear? Is it keeping you from reaching your fullest potential or from helping someone else reach theirs?

Mantra: "I allow myself to feel fear and I embrace that fear in order to overcome it." ~ Namaste

Finding Your Authentic Self

The past 26 days I have been on a yoga streak (I used to do yoga almost every day, but lately I have made it a habit to do it EVERY day without compromise...). In the process of doing my daily yoga practice I have found that I am more and more in tune with what I want from myself for the day, and what I want from life in general.

Coming to a place where I can just be who I am without worrying about what others think of me or if I will meet their expectations is huge. I have always been the type that needs to make people happy and needs to know that I am accepted and loved by those close to me. I have struggled in my life with the necessity to live according to others expectations and desires for me; rather than my own.

When we were at Franz Joseff Glacier this was such a peaceful moment.

Over the past 10 years I have gradually left those feelings behind me and come into myself. Daily I come to a new level in my life where I am more and more ready to be exactly who I am. (Whether those around me like or accept that or not...) The past month or so my intentions to myself have been inclusive of a lot of ideas which surround the concept of authenticity. For me this just re-iterates my need to embrace the life that I have and the person that I am.

Lately I have been studying a lot about things that lead to disease and cancer - Thanks to my summer science paper, Impaired Body Function - and the thing that has gripped me the most is the impact that chronic stress can have on the development of disease and cancer...With that said; there has been incredible research to support the idea that healthy living and proper diet and exercise can drastically reduce the risk for cancer/disease. This increases my motivation even more to pursue a life that is full of peace and contentment and to ensure that daily I allow myself the time to just let go of that which no longer serves me...To just release the negative and embrace my true self.

Taking pressure off of ourselves creates a freedom within that allows us to explore new potential in our own lives. When we can stop worrying about what those around us think, and about living up to the dreams that other people have for us; we can find a true sense of peace, contentment, and happiness.

Mantra: "Compare yourself to no one, for your life is unique to you alone." ~ Namaste