Sunday, March 4, 2018

Cease Striving...Choose Calm

Every now and again there comes a day where I learn a great deal...where life seems to just want to teach me something significant.

Today is such a day, and I thought that I would share what this day has taught me with the intention that perhaps it might lead you to think about your own life and what motivates your own thoughts and behaviours.

I have been sick for about a week now and have been really relaxing and allowing my body to heal. I have been doing absolutely nothing but looking after myself and at first I felt really pleased that I had taken the time to this. I have been eating extremely healthy, doing good yoga, long hot baths, lots of essential oils, drinking lots of cups of tea, taking lots of beautiful herbs and spices to heal myself, etc. etc.....However, the fatigue and lingering cough are just staying with me. This morning I was feeling super frustrated because this has caused me to be out of my exercise routine now for a full week. I haven't felt like doing anything and didn't want to push my body. I had decided yesterday that this morning I would DEFINITELY be well and had planned to go for an easy run......that was NOT happening this morning when I woke up!!....Thus came the feelings of frustration and annoyance at my body for not being healed yet and not being strong enough to meet my expectations.

When I sat down to reflect on where this frustration was coming from, it opened up a whole doorway into myself. I realized that I was expecting change in my life, but still holding onto old thought patterns of goal setting/striving/sticking to "routines" and expectations etc. I realized that while I want peace and calm in my life, my old thought patterns are preventing these changes from taking place.

Two of the key thought processes that I am holding onto are:

1) Expectations - Frustration really only comes when we have a set expectation of what we think something "should" be and when life doesn't meet that expectation...Thus, if you remove the expectation, you naturally will remove the frustration

2) Goals cause us to STRIVE...striving causes feelings of not being good enough, not making it to our goal, not achieving enough, not hitting the mark. I was personally raised to set goals, raised to strive, raised to always be achieving more. This has been ingrained in me since as long as I can remember. Quite frankly if I ever want to change my life I HAVE to change this way of thinking. (When I tried to find a good photo on google for the title of this blog I was amazed by the surprising quotes and photos about how the ONLY way to find success in life is to set goals and strive for perfection etc. Just an interesting side note as I believe this is how our society wishes us to live our lives - consumed by the need to "succeed" and to be better than everyone else. )

I am not saying that goal setting and living with ideas of what you want your life to be is wrong. I am not saying that there is not value in striving for a good outcome and to be your best. This isn't about being right or wrong...What I am saying is that for my life and for the changes that I want to see take place for me, to live calmly and compassionately and to be at peace in my daily life, I have to change. I have to choose to let go of goals/striving and to let go of expectations. This may not be everyone's path and that's why I'm not saying this is the only way to live or the right way. I'm just sharing my personal realization that for ME, this is the change I want to see happen. I want to live at peace and to remove the frustration, the disappointment, the EMOTIONS

So, in letting go of the striving and the frustration, I went for a long meditative walk and enjoyed the beauty of this day. I stopped and enjoyed the breeze on my face, the birds singing, the water washing up on the shore. I know that this was what my body needed today, and I feel okay with that knowing that in this present moment this is where I'm at. Tomorrow may be very different, but "It's like this now". 

What thought process are keeping you from the life you want?  What changes do you need to make today in order to live at peace within yourself?

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