Saturday, April 21, 2018

Emotional Intelligence and the Ego

While I have internet connection, I thought I would take a quick minute to share some thoughts related to several conversations I have had this week. 

It is always interesting to me when you talk to several different people about completely different situations in life but realise later that they are actually all rooted in the same basic concepts. To me this is usually a sign that it is something the Universe is trying to teach me or open my eyes to the reality of. My eyes have been opened widely this week to the fact that we need collectively to gain a better understanding of ourselves in order to appropriately relate to and interact with one another.

This week the underlying theme has been two-fold. Firstly, the need for training and personal work to be done around emotional intelligence; and secondly, the need for training around living outside of the Ego and inside of the Source of Spirit that is within us. If you are at all in any type of leadership position, I would really encourage you to do some research around emotional intelligence and how to teach those skills to those you lead. (Parents and those who mentor others, this would include you as well!)

I have discussed emotional intelligence many times on this blog because essentially that is the foundation of the "personal work" we are doing within ourselves when we read these kind of blog posts or seek to understand our own experiencs and how they impact our behaviour. This work that we do within ourselves is paramount to our ability to interact with others and have meaningful relationships. When people do not self-reflect and understand how their past experiences impact on their behaviour, they project emotions onto others in a harmful way and this often leads to the distruction of those relationships. This is what I have seen in the examples given during several conversations this week around how the harmful words and behaviours of others negatively effect/traumatize/harm the other person involved. People living from their Ego often do not even realise that they are living in this state. Because they have not reflected on their own experiences and what drives their actions and words, they do not even realise the harm they are causing by projecting these emotions onto others. I believe that the skills of self-reflection are some of the greatest skills you can ever learn in your life. Learning how to look deeply at your own self . (Your thoughts, emotions, past hurts etc.) Whether it's through journaling, talking it all out, meditation or whatever tool you choose to use, I highly encourage you to take some time today to think about the ways in which you could do that "personal work" that needs to happen. It would be my hope for our world that this skill eventually gets taught on a large-scale and that people start to understand the impact that this can have on relationships of all kinds (both personal and professional).

Many times on this blog I have also touched on the subject of living from Ego and what that really looks like. This week the examples that were shared with me really highlighted how this negative projection happens and how harmful it can be to those involved. When someone lives in a state of Ego they are highly offendable, jealous, gossipers, put others down to make themselves feel better, confrontational and generally difficult to work with/be in relationship with. The Ego is not just about pride (which I think is the mis-conception). The Ego is also about projecting emotions from past experiences and hurts onto another. When your actions are Egoistic you are thinking only of yourself and how things impact you personally (If you are jealous it's because of the feelings you have about your own current situation and discontent within that. If you are confrontational it's because you believe your way is the only right way. etc) The complete opposite is living In-Spirit where your actions come from a place of humility and grace. Where you have a un-offendable Spirit because your pride is not involved in your emotional responses, where you are genuinely happy for others because you are content with your own life circumstances, and where you don't need to gossip about others or drag other people down. It takes a lot of emotional intelligence and self-reflection to get to a space where you can live In-Spirit, but when you get there, you are no longer projecting negatively onto other people and your relationships improve tremendously. The more people that learn to live from their Spirit rather than from their Ego, the more peaceful and loving this world will be.

It is my personal view that our current society is much too focused on things that don't matter (people spend an enormous amount of time on social media, watching TV, doing meaningless activities because they are tired after work or need a "mental break".) If we each took even just 15min a day to stop and do a bit of self-reflection and look closely at how we responded to various people throughout the day and what we were thinking/feeling at the time and where those feelings may have come from. I believe it would be the start to some really powerful changes with the way people relate to each other. It seems like we are somehow losing touch with how to have those significant interactions with others. I feel like in our modern world we have lost touch with how to communicate with one another and how to relate. (This is likely linked with the high use of technology for communication, but that's a whole other can of worms.)

Perhaps through this sort of work we could come back to a place where the Spirit of love and peace is what drives our words and actions. I encourage you to give some thought to emotional intelligence and the Ego this week. Take a few moments to do the "personal work" that needs to be done!

"Today I take the time to stop and reflect on my true nature - remembering that the Spirit has already provided everything I will ever need. I am compassionate, gracious and humble. I am one with my Source." ~ Namaste





1 comment:

Gavin Wilson said...

Thanks for sharing such an great concept on emotional intelligence.