Finding Joy in the Journey

Recognizing that it is not enough to just enjoy the end result and the final destination....One must find pleasure in the journey along the way...I am seeking to do just that: Find Joy in the Journey

Sometimes I get caught up in looking at the end result and viewing each day as merely a step closer to that goal. Sometimes I say to myself, "well, when this semester is over....when this year is finished...when I finish this...." etc....I sometimes get so focused on what I need to accomplish and what my life will be like AFTER that goal has been met, that I forget to enjoy the journey along the way.

My first week of placements was awesome. I am really enjoying working with the team of nurses out in Horowhenua and the work they are doing in the community is really inspiring. It's been a great opportunity to be refreshed and encouraged to continue on....

I am feeling much more enthusiastic about my studies and feel like I have a bit of renewed passion working with this team...Also, I got my results back from my pharmacology mid-term and I had done really well with that so it encouraged me that all of the hard work I put in does occasionally pay off! This was definitely what I needed to help keep me focused and dedicated to this semester.

Overall, the week has been really good and I am feeling much more centered. I have been swimming a few times and gradually getting back into my yoga again so that has also helped.

Mantra: "Take time to find joy in this present moment - not waiting for what will bring you joy in the future" ~ Namaste

Overcoming Burnout

We all know and recognize that life is a journey - full of experiences and lessons that we learn from every day. And, yes, we all know that part of that journey includes surviving the deep, dark valleys and making it through to stand on top of the mountains.

So, my current goal...Make it to the top of the next mountain!!

How will I get there?...Survive the deep, dark valley...

I am recovering, at the moment, from the flu. Unfortunately, my immune system apparently got tired of fighting for me and gave in. On the bright side, it forced me to take two days off work - which gave me my first break in ages!! (Not exactly the kind of break I wanted, though...)

This has proven the point that if you don't take care of yourself and you don't find ways to relieve your stress, it will indeed control you.

The process of studying and working has proven to be a major challenge for me in regards to finding balance in my life. I have, very obviously, not mastered this challenge yet! haha. I guess that just goes to show that I am human, just like the next person, and I still have struggles and challenges that I need to faithfully work towards overcoming.

So, I am going to make some very specific changes to my daily schedule with the attempt to get back on track and not let the stress of school/work push me to the edge of burnout. Looking ahead to next year I realize that, in actual fact, my schedule will not let up. While next year may be a bit more fun, the course planned for us is unrelenting and there are very few breaks on the schedule. So...I must find a way to overcome and find peace and enjoyment every day.

Some changes that I want to make for myself: Daily yoga/meditation, Listen to music, Use some daily affirmations, Take more breaks and only study a subject for two hours at a time, Schedule "time out" every single day!, Devote time to exercise at least three days a week, Get regular back massages, Avoid obsessing over grades.

Now, obviously saying these things doesn't actually accomplish them...So, I am hoping that good friends, like you, will help to hold me accountable to these commitments.

It's really about living life to the fullest and finding peace in the midst of chaos...

Mantra: "Don't just verbally commit yourself, but back-up your words with actions - Allow for peace in this present moment." ~ Namaste

Whatumanawa

I am new to Maori culture as I have only lived in New Zealand for two years, but one thing I have been learning about a lot in my nursing studies are the various Maori health models that are used to promote wellness within the whole person.

Last year I fell in love with the model of Te Whare Tapa Wha which was the concept of a house and each wall of the house represents a various dimension of a person's life which will inevitably impact on their health. In order to have complete health/wellbeing there must be balance between these parts (mental/physical/spiritual/family). I have seen in my own life how true this is. When one area gets out of balance your health starts to be impacted.

Anyway, this semester I am focusing on the Te Wheke model which is the concept of an octopus and each of the tentacles and suckers represent something in a person's life which contributes to health. Again, if any of these areas are not strengthened it will impact negatively on the overall wellness.

The concept of Whatumanawa - The open and healthy expression of emotion/understanding emotional development is the area I have been looking at specifically over the past day or so.

I experienced this myself in the past week or so and can directly relate it to this model....Let me explain....I was always raised to be a very positive person and my family's beliefs were around the idea that you never expressed negativity. If you were feeling sad or upset about something then you buried that pain and put a smile on and pretended that everything was okay....I always disagreed with this idea and believed that as humans we all feel (ALL emotions) everyone is living life and therefore we will all go through various times when things are going great, and times when life just kicks us around. I believe it is healthy to express these feelings and acknowledge that you are human.

Having said this, however, does not mean that everyone will know how to deal with your expression of emotion.....I have been under a lot of stress in the past few weeks (not only with school and work, but one of my clients is also at the end stages of cancer so it's been hard watching him in the last days of his life as he is suffering.) This has been wearing on me and, while still remaining positive and looking at the good things that are happening in life as well, I have expressed some of those emotions of exhaustion and stress. Some of my friends have been really supportive and encouraging and have been completely accepting of the fact that I don't always have to be 100% happy in every moment. At the same time, others have immediately shut me down and made comments which reflect that they believe it is entirely inappropriate for me to express anything other than cheerfulness/happiness.....This got me thinking.....What is that all about?

How do I respond when people express their emotions to me? Do I allow them to express their anger; their pain? Do I allow them to share their feelings or do I shut them down immediately by trying to cheer them up? Hummm.......got me thinking...

In most cases your willingness to be vulnerable and express your true feelings is accepted in a safe and supportive environment. (Within your family and close friends). However, on occasion people will become uncomfortable with the idea that you are expressing negative feelings. Those people often verbally "call you out" and try to shut you down. They may say something along the lines of, "Get over yourself", "Get a grip", "Move on", "Cheer Up".....It would seem to me that when such comments are made it is a result of that person being insecure in how to deal with your expression of emotion. This is not your problem, but rather theirs.

I believe that holistically in order to experience wellness you must be able to embrace the Whatumanawa. You must be able to express your feelings and emotions in a safe and supportive environment where you are not judged.

Consider offering that support to someone around you today...When someone tells you they are angry or upset, or depressed, or sad....just listen and allow them the opportunity to express those emotions without judgement. In so doing you will actually be supporting their wellness rather than sending the message that it is not okay to share those feelings.

This has been an interesting observation of mine this week and I love how applicable this health model is to my life. School is going good so far - It's an extremely full on semester, but I think it will be really good - I got my placements for clinicals which will be at a Primary Health Organisation in Horowhenua (no idea what that will be like, but I'm up for anything). All else is going well, and I leave you with the thought today that life is beautiful and what makes it beautiful is that even when their are rains and storms, with that usually comes a rainbow!

Mantra: "Allow yourself to be true to who you are every day - express your true feelings and allow that expression to bring wellness to your life."

Life on the Mend

Well, I finally finished my semester and what a relief it is to be done! Second year nursing is no joke. They claim that if you survive it then you will be home free from there on out as this year is, by far, the hardest. This puts me halfway through the program so I am stoked about that.

We are in the middle of our winter break here in NZ, so this is allowing me a moment to recover what remains of my sanity and attempt to get my life back together! I have thoroughly enjoyed having the week to organize things and get everything sorted out.

As it is the first of July I have decided this is the most appropriate day to start another yoga streak and attempt to get back my dedication to the practice. I have organized how I will incorporate exercise into my daily schedule and have been going to a few gym classes of late. My desire is to maintain some form of commitment next semester even when things start to fall a part. I kind of let it all go towards the end of the past semester and I really don't want to do that again. It's just not a healthy response to give up your exercise and moments of relaxation - those are the things that should be foundational for getting you through stressful times!

So, this is me attempting to get my life back together and attempting to forget about all that I did not accomplish and all that I "let go" and instead focus on what I will do in the future and where I am at in this moment.

Mantra: "I allow myself to forget about what was before, and focus on the here and now." ~ Namaste

The life of a student

To say that my life is consumed with books, reading, lectures, training, essays, research, case studies and more is really an understatement. I thought I would simply post a blog to let you all know that life is very real for me right now as are all the struggles that we on a daily basis. The struggle to get out of the warm bed in the cold, early, winter mornings...the struggle to decline that second, third, fourth, fifth cup of coffee to get through the day....the struggle to somehow manage the energy to make a healthy dinner and spend time with your family....the struggle not to judge yourself too harshly when there just wasn't enough time in the day to fit in a good workout (or when there is, but you opt to rest on the couch instead).....yep, the list goes on

So, yes, I have felt the pressures of late....I started a second job while on my clinical placements and in the midst of both jobs and clinicals I also have been completing my St. John training for the volunteer side of my life. It's been a bit of a whirl-wind really. It's all been great, and I am really blessed with the opportunities that have arisen in the past month or so.....But with great opportunities come some sacrifice....

I confess that I haven't run in several weeks now. I have gone to a few classes at the gym but they have been dreadfully sporadic. My yoga practice has also dwindled to a few times a week.....On the up side I have maintained a really healthy diet and even lost a few lbs in the process.

So, my real point in checking in on here is to say that I am every bit as human as the next person and I sometimes let life get in the way of all the positive things I try to achieve in my daily routine......My commitment is to get back on the wagon and get things rolling again in a proper and faithful routine before I start into second semester. I am determined not to let uni control my life! haha......

Mantra: "I will not let life control me, but will accept the challenge of each moment with grace knowing that each moment I have the ability to cope and find peace." ~ Namaste

Faithfulness Comes in Many Forms

Week five of my challenge was a mixture of things, really. I consider this mixture to merely be a reflection of how faithfulness can come in many forms. While you may not follow your "plan" exactly, you can still be faithful to the end result through staying mindful of your goals.

This is how my week went. It was the first week of placements for me. The challenge of early morning starts and then going to work for a few hours after placements meant that I did not have the time to devote to my running that I expected. However, I still managed a good week with two days at the gym, three long yoga practices as well as my daily yoga routine, and a really nice long hike as well.
This spot on our tramp was so peaceful and we rested here for a few minutes to just take a moment out to reflect on the rejuvenating power of mother earth.

This week many across the world celebrated Earth Day and remembered the need to be mindful of how we are treating our planet. For me, this is important because I find so much rest and calm when I am out in nature. When I go for long tramps with Travis I find that the energy I gain from walking through the rain forest environment is just so rejuvenating to me and I am able to start my week off with a renewed since of energy. We must protect that and support those working in conservation. In New Zealand it is mostly due to the Department of Conservation (DOC) that we even have these track available to us. So, in honor of Earth Day, I just have to say thank you to those working and supporting DOC in New Zealand. Also a special thanks to each and every person who recycles, cares for the earth, and is mindful of how what you do every day impacts our planet.

So, this week has been a reminder to me of what commitment and faithfulness truly is and how sometimes the way we accomplish this may change, but the motivation and outcome remain the same. While I may not have met my specific targets for how many days a week I would run this week, I still stayed faithful to my intention of eating healthy and maintaining a balance of exercise throughout the week.

Mantra: "Let your faithfulness guide you towards the goals you have established for yourself in this present moment." ~ Namaste

Week Four

This week I have been really faithful to eating healthy and exercising. My exercising did not include the full amount of running and ab work that I planned, but instead involved a lot of cross training. In my opinion, it still counts - especially when most of that involved distance walks - I did, incorporate two long and intense yoga sessions this week along with my normal daily yoga practice. Overall, I consider this week to be a great success.
Catching the sunrise in Napier was the highlight of my week. There is something about a sunrise that rejuvenates the soul reminding you that it's a fresh day.

This week I fit in some good shifts with the St. John ambulance and definitely enjoyed that. While 13 hour night shifts definitely tire you out for the following day, it is well worth the sacrifice for the experience gained. I am looking forward to more of this, as my official recruitment day is the 30th of April.

Travis and I did a lovely tramp around Cape Kidnappers yesterday and I think that is just what I needed before beginning my first week of placements tomorrow. My goal this week is to maintain my exercise routine even in the midst of the challenging schedule ahead of me. I am also committing to taking my lunch every day and packing a healthy snack so that I am not tempted to eat unhealthy things. The goal this week, I think is to keep the stress levels down and to just focus on one task at a time.

Mantra: "I allow myself to embrace the calm of this moment while acknowledging the challenge as it passes by." ~ Namaste

Week Three

Sometimes life just sets you back a pace or two in order to prepare you for what is ahead. This is how I feel about week three...

I had a very busy but incredible week this week and it sort of got in the way of my good intentions for running. I still got some great exercise in this week and still kept up with my yoga, but not to the extent that I had hoped for.

Part of what held me back this week is that I got my flu shot, which the first day made me pretty tired. After that I worked a 12 hour night shift with the St. John ambulance and that definitely drained me of my energy for the following day. Last night I did a 13 hour shift as well so yeah, I pretty much just needed a recovery day today. I have been overly gracious to myself this week and let myself have a break, and while that probably isn't great, I know that it is necessary in order to keep my immune system strong in preparation for my clinical placements.

So, that was my third week of my "Challenge"....

On the bright side, I found the most fabulous curry recipe - EVER - and made a beautiful vegetarian curry tonight for dinner. I have to share the link for the recipe here because it is seriously the best curry I have ever made or tasted! The last time I made a pumpkin curry I was quite disappointed in it and it was too thick and just not that special....This one was absolutely a beautiful combination of a whole bunch of ingredients and it truly was lovely! I will be enjoying this all week....

Thai Pumpkin Curry

My mantra this week: "Don't be discouraged by all that was undone, but be encouraged by all that you will still accomplish in the coming days." ~ Namaste

Week Two - Reflections

Week two of my challenge for extra running and monitored eating, was not such a great one to be honest. I was pretty overwhelmed with the amount of work I needed to do for my assignments as well as additional hours I was putting in at the bakery. So, overall this week was a bit of a dud, really.

Having said that, I did a lot of reflecting and really came again to the place of acceptance and grace in this moment and realized that every week doesn't have to be perfect and doesn't have to live up to the expectations that we have for it. We are who we are in each moment, regardless of whether we accomplished that which we desired to do.

So, this week was about finding ways to maintain balance and wellness when I was struggling. I am happy that I have come to a place where I can recognize within myself when I am struggling and stressed and when I just need to take a step back and allow myself to recover. So, on the days when I was struggling for energy and to cope, I did some extra yoga and chose that over the more strenuous running.

My goal for running four times this week was brutally un-achieved when I only ran twice this week. However, both runs were moderately long and I am still happy to have done that. I also did a nice long tramp today so that counts as well, I think.

I was faithful to my continued yoga practice actually doing two-a-day yoga this week. I did not get in my two hour long sessions, but I am still happy with keeping up my yoga streak - Day 83 today!

Abs was good this week. I did about four days which was progress towards my five...

Diet this week was fairly good with a magnificent amount of vegetables consumed. I do confess that I ate a muffin one night and today I had a little baked apples with brown sugar/oats on top...Not much brown sugar though. The one thing that I am definitely proud of is the amount of times I declined chocolate and sweets! Several times this week I had every chance to splurge, but I turned it down and drank my green smoothie instead, so I am proud of that.

The point of doing this challenge is simply to ground myself and work harder towards building that strong foundation of lifestyle choices which will benefit my health, both now and in the future. It's not about proving something to myself or denying myself anything. I am happy with where I am at in my life, and I just want to learn how to better experience where I'm at.

Mantra: "Reach out to the new experiences of each day, and embrace where you are at in this present moment." ~ Namaste

Maintaining Commitment

Well, this was the first week of increasing intensity in my running and applying more commitment to my healthy eating....

So far, so good. I ran 4 days this week (5 if you count the 1K warmup I did on my cardio day), and did 2 long yoga practices this week as well as my daily routine. I managed to do 4 days of abs this week, but didn't quite hit my goal of 5...still an improvement.

No chocolate or sugar this week...

I did have a coffee on Monday but I allowed myself that slip up because I was in an all day training class and I was DYING! haha....

Overall I am really happy with the progress I have made and I feel great. Continuing to look forward and make adjustments as I will be on study leave for the next three weeks. I am definitely excited about this extra time to do some of the things that usually get dumped in place of school/work.

Mantra: "Don't underestimate the power of commitment" ~ Namaste

Commitments

At the start of my semester my goal was simply around finding peace and calm in the midst of the chaos of my schedule - to commit to daily yoga practice and take time out to just relax. Today was day 69 of that yoga streak and it continues to bless me and allow me to de-stress in the midst of my crazy student life!

Because I did not want to over extend myself, I set no expectations for my exercise/running, no real dedication to any specific goals or anything like that.

Now that the stressful part is over I am coming into a season where there is more availability for my running and more opportunity for commitment here. Without overstepping and pushing myself too hard, I want to work towards a healthy goal of committing to a 40 day challenge.

This challenge allows me to utilize the time I have on study break as well as the first two weeks of my placements to focus on changes that will positively impact my health:

40 Day Plan:

During the week - No coffee, No sugar, No alcohol, No snacks other than vegetables
Run - minimum of four days a week with mixture of 5, 7, 11k's
Yoga - continue daily yoga practice with minimum of two one hour sessions per week
Abs - some form of core workout five days per week
Weekends - tramping, long walks, freedom to have coffee

Tomorrow starts Day 1 and I will post once a week to update my progress with this commitment. My only real expectations for the outcome after 40 days is that I would like to feel stronger and if I lost a few lbs in the process I would be quite happy with that.

It is still all about finding acceptance and grace in the moments that challenge me, so keeping this at my center is really important to me.

Mantra: "I allow myself to embrace new commitments while still accepting the person that I already am." ~ Namaste

Peace in Chaos

It is amazing to me how quickly life seems to go by and how sometimes you can feel like it is just moving right past you. School has been amazing this semester, but really hard-out and I have been completely bombarded and overwhelmed with research, assignments, readings etc. That is merely my own personal daily life; not to mention, the chaos and destruction globally in the past several weeks.

Like the waves crashing; this can be seen as fearful/scary, or as a beautiful and restorative sound...It is not always about the circumstance we are facing, but about how we respond to and deal with that circumstance.

Universally I think it is time to just take a step back and have a mental "time out"....To take a moment to allow our minds to quiet....To be grateful for all that we have, and honor all that we have lost...To embrace the present moment and allow our breath to give us that life force that will provide us the energy and strength we need to move forward...To let go of all that no longer serves us and to acknowledge the space that is created in that release...To fill the empty space with a sense of calm and peace...

In the midst of all the demands of my course I have been managing to take daily "time out" to practice my yoga and just have a moment to focus on the present and get grounded in that. I have also been able to recognize when I needed a break and time to just rest. This is a huge shift from my usual perfectionistic nature where I am always doing and going and trying to be something bigger/better....This shift in my mentality has been tremendous for me in this semester and I can truly feel the difference in my daily life.

It is not always easy to slow down and find peace in chaos - which is the challenge, really. In yoga we practice the idea of recognizing challenge and breathing through that moment with acceptance but not "responding" to it....This is the idea that I am speaking of here, to be able to see that there is challenge and chaos and demands around you, but to be able to quiet your mind and just breathe through it. This is how I apply my yoga practice to my daily life.

Are you facing challenges and demands in your daily life? How are you responding to that? Are you letting the stress of this chaos control you, or are you making a conscious effort to acknowledge the challenge without responding to it?

Mantra: "Let the quiet of your mind bring peace in this present moment, and let your breath bring the energizing life force into every corner of your body" ~ Namaste

The Grace to Change

Just as the sun sets and rises again, so to our lives can have opportunity to set on the things of the past and rise to a new future...Discovering new things about yourself is a journey, really. I suppose none of us are ever fully matured, or "grown", we are constantly moving forward in our lives learning from our past and seeking a better future.

This week has been amazing for me. I just feel that I have grown so much in the ways that I have experienced things, the way I have dealt with situations, and the way that I feel about myself personally. It has been a very reflective week for me, and I think the reason that I share this is because I want to encourage you to also take time to reflect on where you are right now and where you have been in the past - Are you growing yourself? Are you challenging your thoughts? Are you changing behaviors within yourself so that you can experience life more fully?

To stay right where we are at in our lives can cause us to become quite stagnant, so it is actually good to constantly be changing and growing.

Mantra: "I allow myself the grace to grow and change without judgment towards the person that I once was." ~ Namaste