Living Fully

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of getting together with a good friend of mine and enjoying a weekend of pure relaxation and time together just sitting with nature and enjoying conversation and reflecting on life.

While we were out at a seal colony watching these funny creatures enjoying their day, we observed this fella pictured above. He had squeezed himself into this awkward looking crevice in between a couple rocks and was just basking in the sun. He laid there for the entire time we were out there (which was a very long time). Then there was this other seal who was frantically racing back and forth and he would lay down for a half second, get back up again, go to this spot and squirm, get back up again etc. He was exhausting to watch.

There was a valuable life lesson to be observed in this scene as it played before us...

Often times in life we are the frantic seal racing around from spot to spot trying to find our "comfort" trying to find a place to settle, a place that feels safe, a place where we can rest and bask in the sun without there being anything negative as part of the experience. As we race around, as we flit from project to project, from relationship to relationship - we wear ourselves out. Never staying long enough in one place to truly experience the moment.

I have mentioned in a previous post about the value of simply embracing discomfort and sitting with that experience and the emotions it brings. Now, I do not believe the crevice in that rock was comfortable. I can imagine there were parts of the rock that would have been sharp and scratchy. However, this seal seems to just be embracing whatever discomfort there may have been in order to fully enjoy the warmth of the sun on his fur and to just BE in the moment.

I challenge you with these thoughts: What are you doing to avoid discomfort in your life? Are you like the seal frantically moving from moment to moment, relationship to relationship, seeking only pleasure? When you experience uncomfortable moments, what would it be like if you simply observed that experience without wishing it away?

"To truly live fully is to experience all of life - the joy and the pain, the comfortable and the uncomfortable" ~ Namaste

Don't Avoid Discomfort

Sometimes the only way to truly experience the beauty is to suffer the climb to the top of the mountain! 

 

Something that has been on my mind quite a bit lately, in the midst of so many changes in our world, is how quickly we seek to avoid discomfort. It almost seems human nature that we seek only after the pleasant pleasures of life and avoid at all cost pain or discomfort.

We have become a people who do not know how to sit with discomfort or hardship without unraveling.  Where has our resilience gone? When I think back on history and the incredible suffering and hardships that so many endured and overcame and thrived, it makes me wonder what we are missing, and where we are going wrong. It makes me reflect and think about my own attitudes and perceptions.

Yesterday we went tramping for the first time in a long time, as our country is now allowing tramping in the mountains close to your home region. This path was so challenging at times as it was relentlessly straight uphill for pretty much a solid hour. As is usually the case when hiking up a mountain, it feels incredibly uncomfortable as your whole body is struggling against the process and then you come out to the top and wow, what a view! You realise that it was only through the pain that you were able to experience this incredible moment of pure awe and joy. Sometimes we just need to be with our pain and keep moving forward until we get to the top of the mountain!

I think there is a need for us to take a step back right now and do some close soul-searching and start to really look hard at our lives and at the attitudes that we currently hold to. We need to look deeper and find within ourselves the ability to sit with the uncomfortable and to just be with that experience. We need to learn how to mindfully acknowledge that we are living in difficult moments, but that those moments will not be with us forever. We need to find a way to fully experience the discomfort without wishing it were any other way.

May I just encourage you today to take some time to fully experience whatever this moment has brought you. May I encourage you not to wish it were any other way, but to simply be with the experience. Remembering that "It's like this now".

If you have not previously tried mindfulness practice, I do encourage you to begin experimenting with this while you may have a little extra time at home. There are heaps of resources online of various mindfulness practices, and I honestly believe that right now mindfulness is going to be key in bringing awareness to the value of these difficult experiences we are all facing. I am reading a fabulous book at the moment called The Mindfulness Solution by Ronald Siegel and I highly recommend it. It has some excellent examples of mindfulness skills that one can experiment with and try.

I leave you with this thought from Ronald Siegel, "Resisting these inevitable changes causes us considerable unhappiness".....Let's learn instead how to accept that change will come, and difficulties are an unavoidable part of life. Let's learn how to embrace this present moment remembering that all things are impermanent. 

"Be present today with whatever experiences you face" ~ Namaste

Hold Somebody; Tell Them That You Love Them.

One of the joys of my time in Africa has been playing with the children and getting to know them. To remember them by name and see their faces light up when you call them by name is just so precious.

We sing a song in French that says “Hold somebody, tell them that you love them. Put your hands together and praise the Lord.” As you sing the song you are holding hands with the one next to you and looking them in the eyes and singing this song of love and unity. It is precious to me because that is what I have taken to heart during my time in Africa....If I had to sum up my entire trip in one sentence it would be - “At our core, we are all the same - we all want to be love; to be valued; to be known.”

No matter what country you live in, what your values or religious belief is, no matter what your culture or background is....Our purpose in whatever we are doing should be to ensure that those around us genuinely feel loved.

How are you showing others that you value them? Are you speaking words of encouragement to uplift them, or are you gossiping behind their back? Are you taking time to talk with them or plan an activity together, or are you “too busy” for that? What messages do your actions speak?

In African culture people show that they care through touch. Personally, in my own culture and upbringing we have an invisible bubble of “personal space” that surrounds us and keeps us safe and closed off from anything that might hurt us. I was never really comfortable with lots of hugging and close contact....But the beautiful people of Africa have totally broken down that wall for me and I no longer rely on my safe “personal space” bubble....Yesterday this sweet girl wanted to just have my arms wrapped around her, and she just wanted to cuddle with me and know that she was loved. It is in those moments that I realise the importance of human contact and helping others see through your actions that you care for them. It is a valuable lesson.

"Love knows no limit and moves beyond any barrier of language, culture or differences that we may have." ~ Namaste

See One Another

 Each person is as unique as the rocks that form the mighty mountains. We cannot know the place each rock has or it's purpose, but when we step back and see the bigger picture we can see how each tiny stone has it's unique place and the beauty that it produces when united together.

What does it mean to truly "see" someone?

To walk alongside them as they experience the joys and pain of life?

How can we more fully engage with one another? 

These are some heavy questions that have been on my heart and mind over the past few weeks, not just within my own nursing practice, but actually with my interactions among colleagues and friends as well.

This is what has lead me to thinking a bit deeper about what it looks like to truly see and care for individuals and to personalise care. There is never a clear-cut "one size fits all" approach to engaging with people. I believe that this is exactly as it should be. Personally I believe that the moment we begin to generalise and follow a set standard for ALL, we lose sight of the individual.

I will be honest with you that when you are working with a population that does not speak your language it can be easy to focus only on the "need" and not the person behind the need. Particularly when working in a specific area such as nursing, it is easy to focus solely on the task at hand. This is, of course, a challenge in all areas of nursing, but I believe it is even more prominent if you are working in a country where there is a major language barrier. It is easy to just "get on with it" and do the job you are tasked to do.

I noticed this after the first week or two and decided to make an effort to truly "see" and engage with each person on a deeper level - talking with them through the interpreter about daily activities and things they enjoyed, about their preferences and things that were unique to them, rather than just about topics directly related to their wounds/needs. WOW, what a difference it has made! It obviously takes a lot more time, and a lot more effort on the part of the interpreter, but I have found that for all involved the experience is so much richer.

This, of course, also applies to other relationships as well. I feel that often times our relationships consist of casual greetings and superficial engagement and it is rare these days that people really stop and take the time to dig deeper. Most people are left on the fringe feeling unseen, unheard, and not cared for. Conversations are often limited to very basic niceties and rarely ask the hard/deep questions that require true engagement.

My challenge to you is - Go deeper. Ask more questions. Seek to truly see and relate to those around you. It may be just in that moment where you reach out to someone that they feel for the first time in their life that someone truly sees them!!

"See one another" ~ Namaste