Staying True

Every day life teaches us new lessons about who we are...For me, personally, this week I have been learning the lesson about staying true to myself and letting go of that which no longer serves me. Yoga teaches this principle and with each practice I am constantly reminded to ground myself in the moment to just embrace where I am at without judgment. Applying this same principle to life is a bit more challenging, however, when it means confronting the possibility of backing down from something or letting someone down.

Most of us would like to finish that which we set out to do. Most of us would like to be thought of as good people, good employees, good friends. Most of us find comfort in the acceptance and appreciation of others. This is where it gets complicated...There are times when, by seeking these things, we lose sight of who we truly are and what we feel inside. Our focus shifts from acceptance of ourselves in the moment to trying to transform who we are to please those around us.

My life lesson this week has been that sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone and make changes in our life in order to maintain our own authenticity - in order to stay true to ourselves...I made this step last night when I resigned one of my jobs. I was finding that it was draining on me personally and was negatively impacting on my life and my happiness. I came to the realization that while I did not wish to quit something or let someone down, this job was no longer serving my life and bringing fulfillment to me.
Is there something in your life that you need to let go of? Maybe it's a relationship, a past hurt, a fear...Allow yourself to let go of that which no longer serves you.

"By staying true to myself, I can find joy and fulfillment in this present moment." ~ Namaste

My Story

I have been inspired by my friend, Amber and her awesome bew blog, that life is so unique to each and every one of us and we all have a story to tell. Everyone's story is different and yet it makes them who they are...So, Here is "my story" in a nutshell.

As a teen I used to imagine my life to be anything other than what it was. I wanted to do something amazing and be something more...I wanted to go to Africa and make a difference in the world and do something huge that would change people's hearts and minds forever. I was so willing to do whatever it took and whatever God wanted me to give up - I was ready...But what I thought was the direction my life would take changed so drastically the night that I decided to give up my dreams of being a wife/mother and go to Africa.

Literally the very next morning I met my husband...

You know how they say that God's plans for your life don't always match up with what you dreamed for yourself? Yeah...It was exactly like that. Within four days of meeting Travis I decided to cancel my plane ticket to the college where I was planning to study Cross-Cultural Missions. I felt that God had asked, "are you willing" and I had answered, "yes" but then he said, "that's good, but I have a different task in mind...I was just checking!" Sometimes I say that God gets a good laugh out of my life and that is so true - He always keeps me guessing.

A year later Travis and I got married and I embarked on the challenging years of life as a military wife...

Through years of deployments, wars, stress, loss, jobs, moves (oh so many moves!!), and traveling to foreign lands, life continued to take it's turns. I was still uncertain about what the final destination would be. While together we sought to follow His direction for our life as a couple, I was also finding myself...I have discovered that finding myself has been all a part of this big plan and gradually I have developed a whole new relationship with God that is totally different than anything I thought it would ever be.

When Travis got out of the army and we moved to Alaska we were at yet another crossroads of deciding what to do with our lives and it was during this time in our life that we had planned to start a family and settle down...Once again, not in God's plan. Looking back now I can see how the things that He had in store for our lives never would have played out had OUR plan worked...And so, because we were happy to just follow what we felt God was leading us to do, we emigrated to a beautiful new country and established ourselves here where I have been able to study and pursue the career that I know God has prepared me for all along the way.

Every step along the way He was watching over us, walking beside us, or carrying us through.

Obviously the adventure of my life has really just begun, but truthfully the experiences and challenges that I have faced in my life have made me who I am today and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world. No one can ever take your own experiences away from you, no one can ever change who you are deep inside - that is ALL you and belongs solely to you. The feelings and dreams that you have for yourself are unique only to yourself and that is something truly to be treasured.

So, what is your story? What are the dreams that you dream for yourself? Do you find that in hindsight sometimes it might be a good thing that things didn't go as planned?

Mantra: "Allow yourself to embrace the life that you are living in this present moment and find gratitude in the life that you have lived." ~ Namaste

One With The Earth

All creation is unified together with the breath; together with the understanding that we are all connected. We find strength and are grounded by rooting ourselves to the earth and drawing our strength from it.
I have been drawing my strength from that unity and finding peace through my meditation on this. Throughout the stresses of exam week and my upcoming surgery (Or rather, my second attempt at it...hopefully we will get to go through with it this time!) I have found a sense of relaxation as I have been embracing my yoga practice and I have faithfully been taking time to really develop my practice.

I had never really realized how many awesome videos are out on youtube, so I have been enjoying using those to challenge my practice and take things to a new level.

I am still staying faithful to my commitment of 40-50min. in the AM and 20min in the PM with a 10 min. meditation. So far that works really well and I have been able to maintain that practice. When I start back to running again I will cut back a little, but right now that is a good challenge for me.

Yesterday Travis and I did an amazing 18K walk and just had an awesome time enjoying the beautiful creation. (This picture is one of my favorites from the walk.)

"Allow yourself to draw strength from the earth and all that it offers to you." ~ Namaste

Heart Expanding Practice

I found this awesome yoga video so I thought I would share it. It is so relaxing and really good ~ Namaste

Renewed Commitment

Last week was an incredibly emotional and stressful week for me. I had a huge practical assessment for my nursing program which was a pass or fail (thankfully I passed) and then I was also anticipating a long awaited surgery. I was quite apprehensive and just really nervous not only for the whole process, but for the results that would later come. Unfortunately after five hours of sitting and anxiously waiting to go in for surgery, my procedure was canceled. (They had run out of OR time due to some unexpected complications with other patients.) I was actually all gowned up and everything! So, then came the incredibly emotional feelings that follow when you have been waiting so anxiously for something and then it not actually taking place...Hard to describe, but I can just say that I was just physically and emotionally drained. Hopefully it will be rescheduled within a few weeks.

I share this because I was challenged deeply in this situation to really take a step back and appreciate where I was in the present moment. In the midst of the confusion and frustration to just find a sense of peace knowing that there was a reason that this had happened.

The hard part for me is that I haven't felt well enough to run much over the past several weeks and I was prepared knowing that it would be another month after surgery before I would be back at it again. Now, with this added setback it will be even longer. That is really discouraging to me because I know how hard it is to get back into it after such a long break.

Because of this set back I am renewing my commitment to a healthy lifestyle and increasing my intensity in other areas of my life. I am committing to a new yoga and meditation routine. I have been faithful to my yoga practice, but it has slacked off a lot and become more of a comfort thing than an actual challenge. I want to increase the intensity and bring back the challenge. My goal is a minimum 40 min morning routine and 20 min evening with daily meditation starting at 10 min. I am going to use the aid of some online videos to keep me focused on new poses and challenges.

I am also going to recommit to my "no processed foods" ideal (Which I pretty much already to, but over exam week I tend to eat too much chocolate!) I must really watch my diet while I am not running, and summer time with all the fruits/vege is a perfect time to really focus on those lighter foods!!

Recognizing the good in challenging moments is not always easy, so this is my focus this week as I head into exam week.

"Let the present moment be filled with peace, and allow yourself to find contentment in this moment." ~ Namaste

Peace and Promises

You know how some days you just need to have that feeling of peace to rush over you and just be reminded that God is always with you and His presence is surrounding you? Well, that is my favorite part about New Zealand. I know I seem to be obsessed with rainbows lately, but it seriously just gives me this rush in the present moment that "all is right with the world" and that everything will be okay.

It's been a stressful week with preparing for a HUGE practical exam for our nursing program (which, thankfully I passed yesterday! YEAH!) and then my upcoming surgery tomorrow morning...Anyway, I just really needed a moment of peace on Monday afternoon, and I was sitting at the table talking to Travis and caught a glimpse of this out of the corner of my eye - it was so bright that I could see it through the curtains!!!
Rainbows are really hard to catch on camera because they never look as brilliant as they are in real life, but this was actually a double rainbow and the main one (pictured here) was one of the most brilliant ones that I have seen.....I admit that I did feel like the rainbow was just for me since it was right over our backyard! Even in the midst of day to day struggles we need to find a moment to step back and embrace the peace that is offered to us each day.

My plan is to carry this thought with me tomorrow and to just rely on the promises that He is always with us and will give us the strength we need no matter what the circumstance. Life is so beautiful, and we just need to take the time to recognize that.

"I allow myself to find the calm in this present moment." ~ Namaste

Strength

I went for my first run in three weeks today. It felt really good to be back out there. I am still having some health issues, but finally got on the short wait-list for minor surgery in the next three months. The good side to it all is that I will hopefully feel a hundred times better after the surgery. The downside is that it may be at least four weeks recovery time before I can run after the procedure. I am trying not to think of that setback and just trying to focus on this present moment. I don't know when the surgery will be so I am just going to focus on getting back out there and running as much as I can until that time.
This picture was taken two weeks ago at our one year anniversary of being in New Zealand. Since this picture Travis has shaved off his beard! =)

We moved into our new house this week so that has been awesome. I have some pretty fabulous areas for yoga now so I'm totally stoked about that. I have one whole wall that is perfect for my hand/head stands....AWESOME!

School is getting pretty stressful these days. I feel like this semester has just been emotionally draining for me - between working so much, wondering about Travis' job, and health stuff - I am ready for a holiday for sure! I cannot wait for this semester to finish and just know that it is behind me...Only two more weeks of lectures and then two weeks of study break before exams!

"Focus on the positive in this present moment." ~ Namaste

Life calls for adjustments

Several things have gotten in my way of starting my six week plan...I have had some health issues lately and my knee was still really bothering me on my last run a week ago. So, I have take a few weeks off. I am still doing yoga, but taking time off from exercise. I will start my plan up again soon. Next week will be my gradual transition week and then the following week I will start back into things full on. Sometimes life just calls for a respite...

"I allow myself to respond to the needs of my body and just relax and let it heal." ~ Namaste

Organized Goals for Healthy Living

Monday will begin the second half of my second semester of first year nursing. I decided that this is a great little six week time-frame to establish some goals and challenge myself.

Going into the next six-week period I have already knocked out most of my assignments over the study break, so I can really spend time focusing on studying and preparing for mid-terms and final exams. My goal this semester was to really be organized and to limit the time that I write (and re-write) all of my assignments. So far it's been an amazing semester and I have definitely stuck to my plan.

On Monday we will be starting our placements at a local nursing home. It will be quite awesome, and at the same time a bit exhausting. Being on placement means that on top of the average study time and work schedule I will be pulling 8 hour days working as a student nurse - This doesn't allow for a lot of time for personal exercise or household duties.....So, it's really all about planning.

I measured myself again this morning and ironically I have the exact same measurements and weight that I have consistently maintained since February. This is really my healthy place so I'm content to stay with that. I would still like to see my arms a bit more toned so that is my focus.
Six Week Goals for Exercise:

• Really focus on getting two days a week of core training in with a focus on upper body.
• Cross Training once a week - preferably swimming
• Three main runs a week - Distance, Speed, Moderate with any additional runs that I have time for.

Six Week Goals for Nutrition:

• Increase intake of B-12 by increasing intake of eggs and fortified soy milk.
• Continue no chocolate
  
• No muffins for this six week period.
  
• Decrease amount of breakfast porridge.

Mantra for this week:

"Make the most of every moment and embrace whatever life brings you today." ~ Namaste

Reflections

I have found this semester to be incredibly focused on self reflections and personal opinions about one's own health...With the first major project being a reflection of self health as compared to the Maori health model (as discussed in my last blog post), and now with the completion of my science project I had to do an entire analysis of my daily food intake as compared to the standard accepted ideal for what you SHOULD be taking in! haha.

I was pleasantly surprised to note that I actually consume a huge amount of healthy food and only occasionally do I slip in those naughty little extras! The majority of my diet is made up of fruits/vegetables with the daily grains, nuts, beans to balance everything out. I am, however, short on intake of vitamin B-12 (due to the fact that I do not eat meat and also a limited dairy intake) and will be trying my best to incorporate an increase in eggs and fortified soy products into my diet.

My running this month has really taken a dive. While I am still running quite a bit, it's not as easy or enjoyable as it was a few weeks ago and I cannot seem to get my motivation to really get out there and go hard...I am experimenting with possible solutions at the moment.

At the moment I am kind of just in a "holding" position with weight/health/running and not really doing much adjusting at the moment. I'm okay with that, as I have a lot of other things going on right now that need my attention.

"I allow myself to enjoy this present moment and to embrace right where I am at in my life, without expectation or anticipation for the future." - Namaste

My House of Health

As I continue to reflect on my health and wellness I am completely moved by how much my life has changed and even just in the past three years how much my health has improved. I think when we moved to Valdez about three years ago was probably when I was at my lowest point of health. Mostly due to the fact that my life had lost balance.

Wellness really is about balance and insuring that every part of your life is in order. Without that balance things start to fall out of place and everything comes crashing down. This is reflected in the Maori health model, Te Whare Tapa Wha, (House of Health) in which a person's life is represented as a four walled house. One wall symbolises the physical; one the mental/emotional; one the social/family and friends; and one the spiritual. All of these walls are built with the foundation being the land from which you were born and where your spirit is connected. Learning about this health model has been one of the highlights of my first year of nursing school. Mostly because I feel such a strong connection to it and can directly relate to this concept. I understand how easy it is for life to fall out of balance and for the strength that the walls once had to be weakened.

Because of this reflection I have decided to make some personal changes in my life...I have shared many times about my perfectionistic nature and my tendency towards workaholism. While last semester I was proud of some of the ways in which I worked around these tendencies, I still overworked myself and did way too much. I had commited this semester not to study so much and not to spend so much time "perfecting" my assignments over and over again. While I did a really good job of the later this first part of semester (I only spent a reasonable amount of time on my assignments and I did not re-write any of them!!) I have fallen back into the trap of over-studying. While most people probably struggle more with procrastination and lack of desire to study, I am the total opposite and it becomes an obsession where I feel I MUST read every chapter required and do every study book question and borrow every recommended book from the library!!! Yeah, not healthy....

So, my new commitment as of week 4 of second semester....STOP!!! Take a break and enjoy life.....I am commiting to a minimum of one hour down time EVERY day and to take one day a week where I am NOT allowed to study at all!! I will go for walks and relax, catch up on blogging and just enjoy myself for a few hours and allow myself time to regroup.

Today was my relaxation day and I went for a long walk with Travis, called my Granny, caught up on emails and journal writing and I am about to do a nice yoga session.

Life really is all about finding balance, so this is my commitment to myself in order to achieve a higher level of health. As a side note, I did go for a health assessment at the gym on Wednesday and I am in the best shape of my life! (Still hovering around 135, but my body fat is way down so that is really what matters. Muscle weights more than fat, so that is probably why even after all of my half marathon training I still haven't lost weight....) I will be making some minor changes to my diet (increasing protein after my runs) but otherwise I'm really happy with that result.

"Life is full of adjustments and challenges, may we find peace in those moments and recognize that it is all part of a fullfilled life." ~Namaste

Pursuit of Wellness

So, what is wellness? Why should we seek to be happier, healthier people? What changes can we truly make in our lives that will allow us to view ourselves as "well"?...

These are just some of the thoughts that have been passing through my mind this week as I tramped, as I swam, as I ran, as I cooked...basically just constantly throughout each day this week.

Me on top of the Dead Man's Track on our Thursday tramp.

You might ask why this has been on my mind so much lately...Well, lucky me, I have started my second semester of nursing school and it ROCKS!!!...This semester I am loving already as it focuses a lot on health/wellness/nutrition etc. Our first essay is centered around our view of our own health and how it relates to the Maori health model. (More to come on this.) I find this topic fascinating and seriously "right down my ally". You know I love to talk about eating healthy and exercising and all the things that are incorporated with holistic well-being.

Throughout the past three years I have explored so many aspects of alternative medicine from Chinese medicine traditions, to yoga, acupuncture, acupressure, massage therapy, aromatherapy, feng shui, mindful meditation, vegetarianism etc. I am open for anything and I am willing to try it all! It has also really broadened my acceptance of cultural differences when it comes to holistic wellness.

I have been reading a great book this week about promoting wellness in nursing and it has some fabulous ideas in it. Essentially wellness is different things to different people, but holds much of the same truths for all - A striving towards being better - Even the healthiest person can embark on a journey towards wellness if they desire to improve their well-being. Wellness is multifaceted and includes every part of a person; spiritual, emotional, physical. It is impacted by not only the environment and society, but also culture.

For me personally this journey is only just beginning. I strive every week to make some change to my daily living that will impact my life in a positive way.

What changes are you making in your life that support your journey towards wellness? What happened in your life that brought about the desire to improve your well-being?

"May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be whole." ~ Namaste

And the vacation continues...

Vacation week has allowed me some fabulous opportunities to really get in some great runs, swims, tramps etc....Just an overall combination of exercises and opportunities to get out of the house and enjoy some fresh air, sunshine, rain, fog, cold - well, it's been pretty much a combo of everything this week here in PN!!

I am feeling so much more confident in my half marathon training. This morning I aced my furthest distance to date - 10.12 miles - and that really made me feel like the half is within my grasp! I still have over a month of training left, so I am feeling good about that.
Swimming this week has been amazing. I am really loving being back in the pool and I just think it's such fabulous cross-training. Allowing your body to rest and your legs to have a break from the constant pounding is key to building both strength as well as endurance.

I confess that my yoga practice has not been as strong of late. While I am still practicing every day, it has dwindled down to a short session of late and that was not my intention. I'm not sure what the reason for this is, but I don't seem to be as motivated as I usually am. My focus this week is to start really getting in some good "Mat Time" this week in the mornings before my day gets started. (I have got to get into a good habit before uni starts up again on the 12th!)

Taryn, Travis and I went to Woodville this week to have Yummy Mummy's cheesecake! (Can you believe that we drove 30 min. out of town for cheesecake? It was worth it, and what are vacations for?)

In other confessions this week I have not been very faithful to my healthy eating lifestyle that I like to keep up....I have had both cheesecake, carrot cake, AND a half of a brownie this week! OMG...yes, yes, I know....While I have done a whole heap of exercise this week, already hit 54k's, I should not let that be my excuse for negelting my diet. Ironically it does leave me feeling bad, so I do not know why I do it....I suppose my "re-commitment" to myself just simply needs to happen every day! haha....

As I re-commit myself to my habits of healthy living, I also re-commit my mind to practicing loving kindness meditation and to focus on the needs of others around me this week.

My Mantra:

"Find the will to commit and to withstand temptation in this pressent moment." ~ Namaste