Reflections

I have found this semester to be incredibly focused on self reflections and personal opinions about one's own health...With the first major project being a reflection of self health as compared to the Maori health model (as discussed in my last blog post), and now with the completion of my science project I had to do an entire analysis of my daily food intake as compared to the standard accepted ideal for what you SHOULD be taking in! haha.

I was pleasantly surprised to note that I actually consume a huge amount of healthy food and only occasionally do I slip in those naughty little extras! The majority of my diet is made up of fruits/vegetables with the daily grains, nuts, beans to balance everything out. I am, however, short on intake of vitamin B-12 (due to the fact that I do not eat meat and also a limited dairy intake) and will be trying my best to incorporate an increase in eggs and fortified soy products into my diet.

My running this month has really taken a dive. While I am still running quite a bit, it's not as easy or enjoyable as it was a few weeks ago and I cannot seem to get my motivation to really get out there and go hard...I am experimenting with possible solutions at the moment.

At the moment I am kind of just in a "holding" position with weight/health/running and not really doing much adjusting at the moment. I'm okay with that, as I have a lot of other things going on right now that need my attention.

"I allow myself to enjoy this present moment and to embrace right where I am at in my life, without expectation or anticipation for the future." - Namaste

My House of Health

As I continue to reflect on my health and wellness I am completely moved by how much my life has changed and even just in the past three years how much my health has improved. I think when we moved to Valdez about three years ago was probably when I was at my lowest point of health. Mostly due to the fact that my life had lost balance.

Wellness really is about balance and insuring that every part of your life is in order. Without that balance things start to fall out of place and everything comes crashing down. This is reflected in the Maori health model, Te Whare Tapa Wha, (House of Health) in which a person's life is represented as a four walled house. One wall symbolises the physical; one the mental/emotional; one the social/family and friends; and one the spiritual. All of these walls are built with the foundation being the land from which you were born and where your spirit is connected. Learning about this health model has been one of the highlights of my first year of nursing school. Mostly because I feel such a strong connection to it and can directly relate to this concept. I understand how easy it is for life to fall out of balance and for the strength that the walls once had to be weakened.

Because of this reflection I have decided to make some personal changes in my life...I have shared many times about my perfectionistic nature and my tendency towards workaholism. While last semester I was proud of some of the ways in which I worked around these tendencies, I still overworked myself and did way too much. I had commited this semester not to study so much and not to spend so much time "perfecting" my assignments over and over again. While I did a really good job of the later this first part of semester (I only spent a reasonable amount of time on my assignments and I did not re-write any of them!!) I have fallen back into the trap of over-studying. While most people probably struggle more with procrastination and lack of desire to study, I am the total opposite and it becomes an obsession where I feel I MUST read every chapter required and do every study book question and borrow every recommended book from the library!!! Yeah, not healthy....

So, my new commitment as of week 4 of second semester....STOP!!! Take a break and enjoy life.....I am commiting to a minimum of one hour down time EVERY day and to take one day a week where I am NOT allowed to study at all!! I will go for walks and relax, catch up on blogging and just enjoy myself for a few hours and allow myself time to regroup.

Today was my relaxation day and I went for a long walk with Travis, called my Granny, caught up on emails and journal writing and I am about to do a nice yoga session.

Life really is all about finding balance, so this is my commitment to myself in order to achieve a higher level of health. As a side note, I did go for a health assessment at the gym on Wednesday and I am in the best shape of my life! (Still hovering around 135, but my body fat is way down so that is really what matters. Muscle weights more than fat, so that is probably why even after all of my half marathon training I still haven't lost weight....) I will be making some minor changes to my diet (increasing protein after my runs) but otherwise I'm really happy with that result.

"Life is full of adjustments and challenges, may we find peace in those moments and recognize that it is all part of a fullfilled life." ~Namaste

Pursuit of Wellness

So, what is wellness? Why should we seek to be happier, healthier people? What changes can we truly make in our lives that will allow us to view ourselves as "well"?...

These are just some of the thoughts that have been passing through my mind this week as I tramped, as I swam, as I ran, as I cooked...basically just constantly throughout each day this week.

Me on top of the Dead Man's Track on our Thursday tramp.

You might ask why this has been on my mind so much lately...Well, lucky me, I have started my second semester of nursing school and it ROCKS!!!...This semester I am loving already as it focuses a lot on health/wellness/nutrition etc. Our first essay is centered around our view of our own health and how it relates to the Maori health model. (More to come on this.) I find this topic fascinating and seriously "right down my ally". You know I love to talk about eating healthy and exercising and all the things that are incorporated with holistic well-being.

Throughout the past three years I have explored so many aspects of alternative medicine from Chinese medicine traditions, to yoga, acupuncture, acupressure, massage therapy, aromatherapy, feng shui, mindful meditation, vegetarianism etc. I am open for anything and I am willing to try it all! It has also really broadened my acceptance of cultural differences when it comes to holistic wellness.

I have been reading a great book this week about promoting wellness in nursing and it has some fabulous ideas in it. Essentially wellness is different things to different people, but holds much of the same truths for all - A striving towards being better - Even the healthiest person can embark on a journey towards wellness if they desire to improve their well-being. Wellness is multifaceted and includes every part of a person; spiritual, emotional, physical. It is impacted by not only the environment and society, but also culture.

For me personally this journey is only just beginning. I strive every week to make some change to my daily living that will impact my life in a positive way.

What changes are you making in your life that support your journey towards wellness? What happened in your life that brought about the desire to improve your well-being?

"May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be whole." ~ Namaste

And the vacation continues...

Vacation week has allowed me some fabulous opportunities to really get in some great runs, swims, tramps etc....Just an overall combination of exercises and opportunities to get out of the house and enjoy some fresh air, sunshine, rain, fog, cold - well, it's been pretty much a combo of everything this week here in PN!!

I am feeling so much more confident in my half marathon training. This morning I aced my furthest distance to date - 10.12 miles - and that really made me feel like the half is within my grasp! I still have over a month of training left, so I am feeling good about that.
Swimming this week has been amazing. I am really loving being back in the pool and I just think it's such fabulous cross-training. Allowing your body to rest and your legs to have a break from the constant pounding is key to building both strength as well as endurance.

I confess that my yoga practice has not been as strong of late. While I am still practicing every day, it has dwindled down to a short session of late and that was not my intention. I'm not sure what the reason for this is, but I don't seem to be as motivated as I usually am. My focus this week is to start really getting in some good "Mat Time" this week in the mornings before my day gets started. (I have got to get into a good habit before uni starts up again on the 12th!)

Taryn, Travis and I went to Woodville this week to have Yummy Mummy's cheesecake! (Can you believe that we drove 30 min. out of town for cheesecake? It was worth it, and what are vacations for?)

In other confessions this week I have not been very faithful to my healthy eating lifestyle that I like to keep up....I have had both cheesecake, carrot cake, AND a half of a brownie this week! OMG...yes, yes, I know....While I have done a whole heap of exercise this week, already hit 54k's, I should not let that be my excuse for negelting my diet. Ironically it does leave me feeling bad, so I do not know why I do it....I suppose my "re-commitment" to myself just simply needs to happen every day! haha....

As I re-commit myself to my habits of healthy living, I also re-commit my mind to practicing loving kindness meditation and to focus on the needs of others around me this week.

My Mantra:

"Find the will to commit and to withstand temptation in this pressent moment." ~ Namaste

Process of Elimination

I have mentioned before that I am daily on a quest to become healthier, to feel better, to improve my performance and energy levels etc. Really, that's why I do a lot of what I do - why I run, why I meditate and practice yoga, why I don't eat Burger King etc.

Last year I decided to embark on a vegetarian journey and give up meat after realizing that I felt so much better on the days when I didn't eat meat. It's been about a year now since I switched over, and I truly have seen a tremendous difference in the way I feel. While I am not "strictly" a vegetarian (If circumstances dictate, I will on occasion stray...but it's only a few times a year, and mostly out of politeness for my host, or because I just can't be bothered to care in that moment!)

I have also discovered about myself that I do not tolerate dairy very well (Which I found to be true of myself about two years ago.) I would not call myself lactose intolerant, but I am definitely lactose sensitive. I can still eat cheese moderately, but milk is just out of the question.

Over the past year I noticed that certain foods just really make me feel bad - pears, honey, sometimes apples, chocolate, excess of sugar etc...So, over the past year I have gradually been eliminating things that I find do not benefit me or sometimes just make me feel downright awful.

I thought this was really just my own quirkiness until I was told by an endometriosis specialist that they had discovered there were certain foods which could potentially trigger more pain in patients if they ate these certain foods. Turns out that most of the foods that I had been eliminating from my own diet were all on that list - how ironic - They call these FODMAP foods and recommend to suffers from certain diseases such as endometriosis, Chron's, IBS etc. to try eliminating these foods from their diet.

I find it quite interesting to discover what works for me and to get to know my own body better by knowing what makes me feel more alive and energetic, what makes me lethargic, what makes my stomach ache and cramp, and what makes me feel fabulous and ready to just concur the world.

While I may be so in love with chocolate and coffee, and other delicious things; I definitely feel better when I don't eat/drink them. The hard part is not feeling deprived of the things I love...However, I have found that in moderation these things really don't effect me - for example, I could have a small bite of something sweet and feel fine, but if I eat a whole piece of cake I feel the effects...I could have a tiny coffee and feel fine, but if I have three cups of tea, a coffee, and another cup of tea the caffeine starts to really effect me. Now, I know the rule of "everything in moderation", but you can't tell me that you honestly think about that when you sit down to have a muffin or a piece of cake! (Is a whole piece of cake REALLY excessive? I don't think so...but then again, everything is relative to the individual. What might be okay for you, may cause me misery...One really does have to find what works for their individual needs.)

So, I am continuing my quest for health and happiness...I am daily adjusting my diet and working towards eliminating that which makes me feel bad, and only including what my body can tolerate in order to feel the best that I can feel. I think it is highly important that people treat their bodies kindly and listen to those subtle hints that your body is trying to tell you to back off on some things even if it IS your favorite!

My mantra this week:

"Tune in to the subtle hints your body is sending out in this present moment, and embrace that message in order to find your true health." ~ Namaste

Training Week 5

Well, this week starts another attempt at getting into training shape for the half in August. So far my progress has been non-existent as mostly I have been trying to recover and survive through sickness and finals and everything else that life has thrown at me. However, I am now starting afresh and renewing my commitment. (When I say non-existent, I do not mean that I haven't worked out, I just mean that I'm not really moving forward...)

I have been doing a little swimming this past week and totally loving getting back into that. My goal this week is to increase my yoga practice as well and really get back into the flexibility and strengthening. With swimming now I should be able to increase my upper body strength without weights (as I simply do not have time to lift these days.)

Here is a picture from our tramp around the Castle Point area today.

We are doing quite a few tramps on the days when I am not working, so I reckon that is good cross training as well. We did a real long one the other day for about 3+ hours so that was good, and then today we went for a few hours as well. It's good work on the quads at any rate.I am hidden in this picture as well, but it's still cool....I need to start wearing brighter colors so I can be seen! haha...

I did much better with my food intake this week, but planning to take steps even further and keep being faithful to less and less added things and just keeping the majority of what I take in to fruits/vege...I am working a lot again this week and that makes it quite challenging, but I make an effort...Hopefully next week I can comment on progress made towards my training.

"Enjoy the beauty in every present moment, and take nothing for granted." ~ Namaste

The Beauty of Manawatu Gorge

Taryn took this awesome picture of the Gorge, so I had to share it - Oh so beautiful!! I love New Zealand!!

Tramping in Winter

The weather in Palmerston North has been AMAZING for "supposedly" winter-time! Because Travis is back and he has his heart set on tramping all the time, we have managed to get in some really nice tramps this week. Thursday after work we went on the Sledge Track trail and then yesterday we did a big afternoon tramp through the Manawatu Gorge with Taryn and Tim.

I have also gotten in a lot of good runs this week, so overall it's been great! Study week was a huge success as I feel really prepared and ready for the final exams for my papers. I have three finals next week and then one the following week.

Still doing my daily yoga, but my plan is to increase my practice and start incorporating more abdominal workouts throughout the week. This week completed week two of my half marathon training schedule, so next week starts the increase in mileage...And so the story begins...

I'm BAAACK.....

Ah, yes...It feels so good to be back again - much less stressed, much more full of energy, much happier!

One of the things that helped with all of the above is the fact that Travis came home two weeks ago. It is so amazing having him back and feels so good to have someone around to do things with and to distract me from "crazy study" mode...

Speaking of "crazy study" mode...I have been working really hard towards viewing my finals with a "good is good enough" mentality. While I am still studying heaps for my big finals coming up next week, I am also trying to really stress the importance of finding balance and not over-cramming for stuff that I essentially already know. I'm trying really hard to find some grace in there towards myself.

Running has been amazing this month. Taryn and I ran the 13K two weeks ago and that set us up for a wonderful training program. We decided to go for it and do the half marathon in August so we took a week of recovery runs and then started our 12 week training course last Monday. It has been going really well and we have been really faithful to it so far. I am definitely feeling more dedicated to a consistant program and my goal is to keep it up even during break (which is where I sort of gave out last time and struggled to stay faithful).

I have also been doing yoga every day and I have given up chocolate faithfully (with a few minor - very minor - exceptions) Also, I have been faithful to giving up my evening toast, but have unfortunately subsitituted it with cheese and crackers (not sure which is the worst option?) I reckon as long as I'm staying healthy and feeling good it really isn't a huge deal.

Yes, I am staying healthy and feeling great. Still weighing in the same and still making daily adjustments and changes to follow a healthy lifestyle. So far 2010 has been an amazing year for me, and I am so excited and proud of the accomplishements and progress that I have made. My only real goal at this point is to stay faithful and keep it up...

"Allow yourself to find contentment in this present moment." ~ Namaste

Reflections

First of all I must comment/reflect on the fact that college life is hard!.....While I was totally expecting classes and assignments to be hard, I don't know that I was quite prepared for the overall drain on your whole person - not really so much the physical strain of study, but somehow it effects just every part of you....I am seriously SOOO tired! Last week I was on placement all week and had two assignments due plus work so I think it all just has come crashing down on me. I am not sleeping well at night, and I am sure that adds to the feelings of draining energy....From what I have been told, tomorrow at the cafe will be insanely busy because of Mother's Day and I have been warned that by the end of the day I am likely to be "huddled in the corner crying" from the mass chaos of it all! (Isn't that motivating and wouldn't that make you want to go into work? haha....This made me laugh.)

Having complained for a moment above, I will now conclude with the fact that I am totally LOVING my nursing program. Despite the exhaustion and mental challenge - I know I have said it before - seriously, I love it! I was definitely intended for this and I cannot wait to actually start practicing.....Every time I think about how blessed I am that we made the choice for me to go to school and pursue this career, I am overwhelmed - I truly am so blessed! We got our science mid-term exams back this week and it turns out that I did really well. So far I am pulling out an A in the class which is miraculous considering that my fear was maybe not even passing. (It's one of the highest failed papers at uni.) I am stoked that it is going so well.....Just have to keep studying my butt off and hopefully I will come through well in the end!

Running has still been on again, off again. I got in some brilliant runs at the beginning of the week, but now that I'm coming on the close to another weekend I am just knackered and can barely even crawl into bed at night! haha....Again, I reckon if I get in at least three good runs a week that's a good effort on my part and I'm okay with that. I have to find some grace and understanding towards myself - no judgment.....

I have decided to go on another chocolate fast.....I have found that I just feel so much better without sweets in my system and I seem to run better somehow. I will keep you posted on how this goes.....So far I have gotten through one day! haha~

Still hovering around 135, so happy that at least SOMETHING is consistent in my life! =)

I haven't been doing as much daily yoga and I'm sad about this - I actually have been too tired, how pathetic is that? No excuses - I need to get over it already.....I am going to try and implement some things in my daily routine this week and see if that helps with energy levels at all. It really is all about experimentation. I am going to start taking vitamin D again and see if that helps. I had a lack of energy in the winter in Alaska and vitamin D really helped once I discovered this....it could be that I am experiencing some of the same with winter coming on here? Not sure......

I discovered two new things this week: Feijoas and Lamingtons!! YUM to both.....feijoas are a citrus fruit shaped like a kiwi fruit, but have a peel kind of like a lime. They are really tart and some people think they have kind of a "perfume" taste. They are FABULOUS in smoothies and have been the highlight of my "green smoothies" this week!! Lamingtons, on the other hand, are not as healthy - it's a delicate sponge cake with cream inside and it's kind of soaked in chocolate on the outside and covered in coconut. (Hard to describe, but SUPER awesome!!) Yeah....that was my chocolate treat on Friday after I got my science test back!!!

Well, my friends, it's 9pm and since I'm a Nana these days I'm off to do yoga and crawl into bed....

"I allow myself to find acceptance in how things are in this present moment without judgment towards all that is not." ~ Namaste

Life

Well, sorry I haven't blogged on here in a while, things have been a bit crazy with school and everything. The rest of Easter break was so fabulous. I got a lot of work done on my assignments and managed to squeeze in quite a bit of actual work hours between Hannah's and Barista's. (Although this weekend is my last official weekend at Hannah's.)

School is going well, my first papers all came back relatively well and I am feeling really good about my second assignments (although, I must add that the amount of research involved in these assignments is unbelievable!! I seriously spend SO many hours researching journals and stuff - it would blow your mind. It's all very interesting, but really time consuming.) So, that's where I have been......

Last week I was on placements at the nursing home again. I got to do quite a bit of independent work, which was super cool. I am really loving the residents there so that's been fun. We started work on our care plans last week so that was interesting. (Essentially we have to interview a resident and create this whole medical record for them and a care plan about all the various things we will do to improve their quality of life etc.....It's really interesting. Again, really time consuming.) We still have one more week to work on it, so all is well.

This week we are all frantically studying for our big science mid-term that will be up on Friday.....I cannot believe that we only have four weeks of classes left! It's amazing. So, after our classes finish we have a study week and then a week of final exams and that wraps up first semester!!!!

Running has been off and on these days. I hurt my ankle/foot last week and took a week off, so this is my first week back. I'm taking it easy and not going too far, but it's going well. I find myself getting caught up in study and it's just so hard to pull myself away and go for a run. I'm working on it, but right now I'm a little obsessive about studying still......I did good over Easter to take breaks, but now I'm feeling the crunch of all I haven't studied and feeling the need to really crack down.

Surprisingly I have lost a little weight even with the decrease in mileage so I don't know what's up with that. I tend to be hovering around 134 now so that's kind of weird, but I'll take it......It certainly is no reflection of all the wine and chocolate I have consumed in the past week! ha.....

Well, that is essentially a quick overview of the past few weeks. I am working to get back on track with my eating (I haven't been eating as much as I should or well-balanced meals - yeah, popcorn doesn't really count! ha) I am working on that and starting to cook more for myself again. It's hard to cook when it's just you and you are so busy - so much easier to just have toast or something when you are studying.....NOT a habit I want to continue.....Back to the veggies and beans for me - here I come.....Last night I made a huge pot of chili and tonight I'm making a lentil quiche so that should give me some variety this week.

All the best to all of you, and I hope you are well!

"Make the most of every present moment!" ~ Namaste

Love covers all...

Family may not always come in the form of flesh and blood...Sometimes those that love us the most are close friends who take us for who we are in this present moment and embrace every aspect of our life...I am so grateful for the many friends that I hold dear to my heart, who are as close to me as my own flesh and blood could ever be. I love you so much, and pray blessings on each of you this holiday season.

This was my first holiday alone in NZ and while I did not do much - other than work - it was a good one. I did have a really wonderful reflective run on Easter Sunday and that was the highlight of my week. It was the farthest that I have run to date - a FULL 8 miles - and it was just a special run since my entire focus was solely on the gift of God's love through His sacrifice as well as through His beautiful creation...just a great time of peace.

And yes, I'm blonde again!!

My yoga meditations have also been really peaceful and reflective this week as well. Coming to terms with some stressful moments and just letting them float by...My mindfulness practice is definitely paying off.

I was really struggling at work with my "perfectionist" tendencies since the big corporate office has these demands and expectations of us each week. It was hard for me to just work and relax and have fun when so much is being expected of us as employees and our value as an employee is rated based on whether or not we meet these expectations. I finally came to a realization that this is not healthy for my life. If I cannot seperate my feelings of worth from their expectations than it's just not good for me to be in that sort of business and it puts too much stress on my life...so, I quit. (It was only 6.5 hours a week anyway, and just not worth the stress.) I will work for the rest of the month there, but then take a step back and try to find a better balance. I will pick up extra hours at the cafe so it will all equal out in the end, but it will just be healthier for me. (This was a big step for me, so I'm proud that I did it, and I know that my life will be happier for it.)

My new Easter Break haircut!

My running was a little more spaced out this week, but I still got in several great runs....Still hoovering at 135 and I think that's a really healthy place for me. I have no real desire to drop any more weight, just to keep running and being content in that...

I had some family news today that really kind of threw me for a loop, so I didn't run today, I took a "mental health day" and just did some therapeutic things for myself - like got a coffee, got my hair cut/colored, made homemade pizza, talked to Travis on the phone for over an hour etc...=) Life is always so much better when you can talk to the ones you love and know that they are there loving you in return. I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband and some awesome friends out there too!

My mantra of healing this week:

"Today I embrace the healing love of Christ and just let it flow to every wounded part of me in this present moment." ~ Namaste

Loving Kindness Meditation

I confess that this week I have had more chocolate than I have consumed in a LONG time...don't know what is up with that, but it's been a struggle this week, and I just gave in. It's my expression of love towards myself in every moment! ha.....

While I have eaten chocolate, I have not run as much this week.....What's up with that? Well, my shins started bothering me at the beginning of the week, and I opted to take a few days to rest and hopefully prevent any injury. I guess you could say that this would be considered my "break from real life" week since I have given in to both my need for physical rest as well as my need for chocolate.....Ah, it happens.

Overall things are going great. Since Travis isn't around I have definitely been indulging in a lot of steamed vegetables for dinner and smaller evening meals. (Tonight I had a bag of popcorn - again, a treat for myself! - Guess I have felt the need to "treat" myself a lot this week!) Note to self, that the week is ending and so must the indulgence. =) haha.

My approach to running is changing slightly as I am trying to really follow my body and just go where it tells me. I decided that if I am not running a race or something then I shouldn't stress over training. I want running to continue to be fun and therapeutic, so I am just going to follow a "guideline" and let things fall into place depending on how I feel. Taking the pressure off, actually allows for more flexibility and less judgment towards myself.

It's really all about letting go of the judgment and offering myself a dose of loving kindness throughout my week. I am learning that it is hard to offer to others what you cannot give yourself. If you are critical of yourself, you are more likely to be critical of others as well. If you offer yourself kindness, than hopefully the kindness will also flow through to those around you.

As part of my loving kindness meditation I have been using this mantra this week:

"May I be happy just as I am...May I be safe and protected from inner and outer harm...May I be healthy, free from physical suffering...May I live in this world with ease, free from inner and outer conflict." ~ Namaste