Enabling your future

Do you ever wonder why un-certainty causes so much worry and fear? What is it that we are truly afraid of? When we are facing possible changes in our career or a big move, why do we not view that as an endless possibility of future happiness? Why, instead, do we wrap ourselves up in continuous worry and anxiety about all the "what if's"; waiting for something to go wrong?

These are some thoughts that have been in my mind of late. As I near the end of my nursing studies and begin to embark on a new adventure as a registered nurse, I have been faced with many uncertainties. In New Zealand we are highly encouraged to enroll in an after-graduate nursing program that allows us the opportunity to work for a year as a registered nurse, but at the same time continue our education and work with supervision and guidance from more experienced nurses. These programs are highly competative to get into, and unfortunatley it's not very easy to obtain employment without having completed the program. Because of this, a lot of student nurses find that in the final year of study a lot of anxiety is triggered by the upcoming applications to these programs and the fear of not getting a place. On top of that, you add the stresses of finding employment in the location where you wish to live. (Not to mention the added pressure of having a spouse who must also find a job in the same location.) It is all rather intense.

I like to believe about myself that I am not an overly stressful person, but that I am somewhat easy going and take things as they come - It has occured to me lately that I might be kidding myself! I think it is natural that all of us have a tendency towards worry and stress when we feel that things are out of our control, and the future seems un-known/un-certain. We all like to be in control, ae!

I read an article about Embracing Uncertainty that really made me re-think how I view this upcoming change. It reminded me that I can either look towards the future with fear and anxiety, or I can embrace the possibilities that these changes will bring and allow myself to have control over my emotions in the process. I am the only person who can control how I feel about the situation and I have a certain self-responsibility in that. I have the opportunity here to enable myself to find happiness in this present moment even when there is chaos and un-certainty around me. I have control over that part.

So, for me, the lesson here isn't that there is some magic answer around how to stop stressing over the future; but rather, that in amongst that stress I have the ability to find peace and to just embrace all the posibilities that will come in their own time.

Are you facing some big changes ahead of you? Try letting go of all the anxiety and un-certainty and just allow yourself to find peace in knowing that YOU have control over how you react to this present moment. You have the ability to enable your own happiness.

Mantra: "I allow myself to rest in the peace that is mine in this present moment, and to look upon the future with ease, knowing that the possibilities ahead are enabled by my calm of mind."  ~ Namaste

Finding Relaxation

I have had a bit more time lately to indulge in one of my most favourite hobbies - Art. I find painting so therapeutic and relaxing. These past few months have been quite busy between school, clinical placements and home life. So, I find that taking a few hours out every now and then is really good to help stay grounded and keep from getting too stressed out.

This painting of a seascape around the Honeycomb Rock area is one of my most recent paintings.

I find that painting at this particular time in my life is much needed as I have had some pretty intense clinical placements this semester. I am currently finishing a three week placement with the mental health crisis team. That placement has been one of my favourites so far. We are nearing the end of our first semester of this final year of nursing, so it is getting pretty exciting.

I was honoured this semester with being a recipient of the Freemason's scholarship which has helped support me through this year of school. It was such a humbling experience recieving this and feel so priviledged to have earned this award. It has also allowed me the opportunity to spend some extra time volunteering and getting more involved in my community - which I really appreciate.

As for my healthy living, well, I have really changed some things in my diet and have been cooking some new foods to incorporate more beans and different grains into my diet. I am still running, but have been out sick for two weeks so it might be hard to get back into it. I am hoping it won't be too bad. I am still swimming and enjoying that time with my swim buddy, Linda. It is awesome having a workout partner to encourage you and to just be there with you when you are working out - just makes it more of a social time rather than a struggle.

I have found that eating healthy and exercising, while challenging when on placements, is really worth the effort!! I feel a lot less stressed and more energised to give of myself to others. That's what it's all about anyway, ae?!

Mantra: "Allow yourself to be renewed in this present moment so that you can be a support and shinning light to those around you." ~ Namaste

Life is Good

As earlier I compared my third year of nursing school to 9 months of pregnancy...It would be fair to say that I have passed over the 'morning sickness' phase and have moved into the more enjoyable months of pregnancy.

I am now over three months in, and finishing off my last two days of the first major placements. It has been an amazing experience, but I am definitely exhausted and looking forward to a two week break (oops, I mean, study leave!)

Last weekend I took a break from the books and Travis and I went tramping up Mt. Taranaki. It was a huge accomplishment physically and was a great chance to be reminded of how amazing our bodies are - when being challeneged and pushed to the limit, they step up and meet that challenge! I have never been pushed so hard physically and it was a real rush to hit the summit.

My running and weight lifting is still going well, but I definitely need to re-evaluate my eating habits as they have kind of gotten all messed up with shift work and all. Over Easter holiday I am hoping to really get back on track with my healthy eating and I am actually going to start experimenting a little with adding in some fish and lamb to my diet. I have been a vegetarian for over three years now, and I am feeling really good, so think it might be a good time to see how I adjust to some new healthy meats. Still keeping 98% of my diet fruit/vege though....But hoping to cut down on some of the carbs that get thrown in as fillers. Looking to cut back on crackers and breads and pastas.

Anyway, just changing things up a bit for variety's sake....Otherwise life is pretty amazing at the moment. It's getting exciting knowing that our lives are about to change drastically and in a very big sort of way. I am really looking forward to my future, and enjoying what the present moment has to offer me too!

Mantra: "Let the beauty of today enhance the joy of tomorrow" ~ Namaste

Time Flies

I honestly cannot believe how quickly time flies by. I have just completed my first three week placement in a surgical ward, and today I start my next three week stint in a medical ward. This is a huge turning point in the semester as we are already getting close to halfway through!

I knew that this year would go by quickly, but I never dreamed it would go this fast! It has been amazing learning and growing and being challenged so much along the way.

Finding peace in the midst of chaos is one of the foundational concepts in yoga practice. I guess that is one of the things that I appreciate the most with doing yoga is that you learn how to really be calm when everything else is flying past you and swirling around. At first I was struggling with this concept at the beginning of the semester, but now I feel like I am finally getting a grip on it.

I am still running and swimming and I started lifting weights again, but I am definitely allowing myself some grace with that and not planning to run as far of distances and push myself beyond what I can do in this moment. I am extremely limited for time, so I have decided that something is better than nothing and I am going for shorter, more intense workouts these days.

Overall it has been a fabulous year and I am really excited to see what the future holds in the next few months.

Bring On Third Year

Well, this week is the official start to my third - and final - year of University. I will (Lord willing) graduate in 9 short months and get my practicing certificate as a Registered Nurse!

For me, these next 9 months will be much like being pregnant. There will be LOTS of growing pains, nausea, stress, anxiety, excitement, anticipation...you name it...We will consider the state finals my "labour" and the practicing certificate my "baby". While some people really enjoy being pregnant, others suffer through day by day just to glory in the final result.

I draw this comparison because nearly every one of my friends has recently (or is presently) going through their own REAL pregnancies. I can only relate on this level....haha

So, yes, school starts this week. I am looking forward to getting back at it - but to be honest I have been doing a bit of research and study these past three weeks as well in preparation - turns out I may be a bit of a nerd!

My running is going well - up to 10K now, so getting much closer - I am still training for my half-marathon, but have been working nights the past two weeks which has thrown a bit of a curve ball to my schedule. I am being flexible and recognising that all is not lost. Tuesday night is the Super 7 Series that the Manawatu Striders put on each year, so I'm excited to participate in that. This will be my first race in well over a year. (7K race)

The sugar detox went really well. I definitely feel much healthier and better. I have also been making some significant changes to my diet incorporating more grains and legumes into my daily diet. I was getting into a bit of a fix just eating salad and green smoothies and realised that I had unintentionally reduced my intake of protein and grains. I decided to give my diet a bit of an overhaul and change things up a bit. I have been trying some great new vegetarian recipes lately as well, and really enjoying the change.

Have you made any significant changes to your lifestlye in 2012?

Change starts today!

Sugar Addict

Hi, my name is Teniah, and I am addicted to sugar.

In all seriousness, I believe that sugar is actually highly addictive due to the pleasure pathways in the brain that it triggers, and should be treated as such. About a year ago I started doing a little baking here and there and re-introducing sugar into my life. Gradually it went from the occasional indulgence of chocolate during exams to eating chocolate every time I would get stressed (which is a lot of chocolate! haha). We never used to keep goodies in the house before...

While I would say I still only eat sweets occasionally and hardly ever buy ice cream or goodies for the house, over the past few months that has been changing. (No help from all my Christmas baking!) I began baking when we moved out to Masterton and I actually had time to bake. I have really enjoyed making goodies to have in the evenings and fresh bread and other indulgences. The trouble is, that instead of it being an occasional thing, it has become a regular nighttime habit now - a cuppa tea and rhubarb bread or a cookie...and so the pattern starts.

This is definitely not the path I want to take. I do not want to be addicted to sugar and crave sweets and foods that make me feel lousy and irritable. I do not want to develop diabetes (which runs in my family) or put on excess weight. On top of that, all of my running training is a bit pointless if I am fueling my body with all the wrong things. - Which I have noticed that some days I just don't have the energy I need for a long run...likely due to the sugar eaten that day.

So, I have made a decision to fight my addiction and give up sugar cold-turkey. (Obviously not forever) I believe that you can have a treat every now and then, but for the next month I am giving up sugar to re-set my system and head into the new year feeling good. I want to detox my body and just be really healthy again. I would say that this is a New Year's Resolution, but in reality, it's more that I am just ready to make a commitment to overhauling my current intake of sugar and changing how I view the food that fuel's my body.

Mantra: "Change starts right where you are at today." ~ Namaste

Making Choices

It can often be said when people are faced with difficult choices to make in their lives that you should "follow your heart" and that your heart will lead you down the path that is right for you...

Is that true? Does the heart always lead you to happiness?

I would step out on a limb and say that "no", the heart does not always lead you to happiness right away...When you follow your heart and trust that it is leading you down the right path, you may find in actual fact, that it has lead you to sorrow and pain. I believe eventually that pain turns to joy and in the end your heart will truly have lead you to happiness (it's just a long time coming in some situations).

Life can be so confusing like that...Needing to make a choice around where your future will take you, or who you will enter a relationship with, or when the right time is for those relationships...It's hard to say if the choices that you make will lead to pain or joy. Isn't that life, though?

I guess what I am most thinking about today is the truth in that statement to "follow your heart"...Does the heart lead you down the right path, or can the heart deceive you? And in the end, will you come out at the same place?

In my own life, my heart has always lead me straight. It may have required that I go through pain along the way, but it ended in happiness. I believe that I can trust my heart, I just need to have the courage to do it.

Mantra: "Follow your heart wherever it leads you, for even if the path brings pain, that pain will reveal joy in the end." ~ Namaste

Enjoying Life in the Country

One of the best parts about living in the country is that on a beautiful evening you can go across the road and walk up the hill and look out over the Wairarapa region...
It's just lovely here. Lots of rolling hills, lots of green land and happy sheep and cows grazing...
If you look closely on the right you can see the property where we are renting at the moment...
With all this lovely area, however, comes a new disappointing twist - Allergies! - I am suffering terribly at the moment with all the thistle and stuff floating around in the air. It's a real shame because it definitely takes away from the beauty of the moment. I am trying various remedies, but so far, pretty much unsuccessful. This has definitely put a damper on my motivation to run/train at the moment. I am still doing it, but it's a hard sacrifice as it usually leaves me sneezing the rest of the afternoon. Shame...I am soon hoping to fine a good treatment option.

On the up-side of things, as soon as we leave the area it seems to clear up quite quickly, so tramping is a great relief. I have really been enjoying all of our weekend tramps. I will have heaps of time for my training as it gets closer to the race, so I'm not too worried about that, but hope to just keep a moderate running routine so I can get stronger and stronger during the summer.

Overall I have had an amazing summer so far which has proven to rejuvenate me and I am already feeling more prepared to cope with the challenges of next year. Just trying to really set up some good routines now while I have the time. Remembering that it takes about 40 days to really establish a true habit.

Mantra: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life - let today be the day you make positive change." ~ Namaste

Around our house there are lots of Pukeku. These two in particular appear to be contemplating building a nest in front of our house. Every night we watch them around the same time come over and peck around in the grassy mound out front. They are seriously odd looking birds, but so pretty in their own right.

Watching these birds reminds me how beautiful uniqueness is. The world would be such a boring place if everyone looked/acted the same, and if all the animals were exactly alike. When you come across an interesting animal with a unique look or personality, it reminds you that the world is so diverse and fascinating.

I think many people struggle with embracing their uniqueness. Our society pushes the idea of conformity - wearing the same styles, the same make up, the same hair color/style, being the same size etc...Those that are different often stand apart as "weird" or "odd" and are often times avoided. What's up with that? Why is it that we encourage conformity? Why are we, as a society, so insecure in our own form? What does it take to become confident in your own unique attributes and characteristics? These are just some musings...

As I get older I am becoming more and more happy with who I am and okay with the fact that I will never "conform" to the ideal "in" group. I will never be skinny, or tan, or stylish in the way that society dictates that beauty should be...But, I will be exactly who I am. I am learning more and more every day that I want to be me. I don't want to conform, I don't want to try and be something that I am not. I am happy to stand aside and be the Pukeku who just is what it is....

Mantra: "Inside each of us is a unique individual waiting to shine: Be exactly who you are" ~ Namaste

Serenity

It's not always easy to find solitude and refreshment in our busy world, however, if you can get away from the hustle and bustle of the city for a moment and walk among the trees, listening to the birds singing, you can truly get a tiny taste of what serenity actually is.

About a week ago, Travis and I moved to Masterton. We are renting an amazing little house about 10k out of town in the country. It has proven to provide me with much relaxation and recuperation - exactly what I needed.

There is something therapeutic about living in the country, listening to the bees hum and the birds sing. Watching the gentle rain nourish the green grass. It is so energizing to be surrounded by fresh green and cool air. I honestly cannot describe it.

So, yes, I am feeling much more encouraged and uplifted and getting ready for summer holidays. I sat my first exam yesterday and have two more to come. Then, it's holiday time!!! I have been very blessed to have landed a casual job with a new mental health service provider in Masterton, so I am looking forward to working with their team in the near future. However, most of the summer I am planning to just enjoy being home.

I got some art supplies this week and have started a new painting and I have also really been enjoying cooking a lot and using all my lovely fresh herbs. It is a different way of life out here, and one that I am happily getting used to!

The picture above was taken from my porch this morning as I had my coffee - can't get much better than this!!

Mantra: "Let the beauty of the moment nourish your soul" ~ Namaste

Still, Quiet, Peace

We spent the night near Castle Point to just have a little getaway from the world and to relax and recover from all we have had going on...

This was the perfect setting to just really embrace the beauty of the moment and to let the calm of the ocean just melt away any residual stress or anxiety.

At night the sky was clear and the stars were so incredibly bright - we could even see the milky way!

I am really enjoying getting back into my yoga, swimming, and running. This has allowed me a good opportunity for stress relief and to just reflect on what I want to gain from my life. My stress level has decreased tremendously of late, and I just feel so much healthier and more relaxed.

My goal at the moment is to just really embrace each day and find some joy and time to rest. I am making it a point to do something that I love every day and to make time for myself. I am also planning to really get back into my running over the summer holidays and perhaps even run a few races next year.

Mantra: "Today is your opportunity to embrace life and find joy in the present moment; don't put it off until tomorrow" ~ Namaste

Finding Joy in the Journey

Recognizing that it is not enough to just enjoy the end result and the final destination....One must find pleasure in the journey along the way...I am seeking to do just that: Find Joy in the Journey

Sometimes I get caught up in looking at the end result and viewing each day as merely a step closer to that goal. Sometimes I say to myself, "well, when this semester is over....when this year is finished...when I finish this...." etc....I sometimes get so focused on what I need to accomplish and what my life will be like AFTER that goal has been met, that I forget to enjoy the journey along the way.

My first week of placements was awesome. I am really enjoying working with the team of nurses out in Horowhenua and the work they are doing in the community is really inspiring. It's been a great opportunity to be refreshed and encouraged to continue on....

I am feeling much more enthusiastic about my studies and feel like I have a bit of renewed passion working with this team...Also, I got my results back from my pharmacology mid-term and I had done really well with that so it encouraged me that all of the hard work I put in does occasionally pay off! This was definitely what I needed to help keep me focused and dedicated to this semester.

Overall, the week has been really good and I am feeling much more centered. I have been swimming a few times and gradually getting back into my yoga again so that has also helped.

Mantra: "Take time to find joy in this present moment - not waiting for what will bring you joy in the future" ~ Namaste

Overcoming Burnout

We all know and recognize that life is a journey - full of experiences and lessons that we learn from every day. And, yes, we all know that part of that journey includes surviving the deep, dark valleys and making it through to stand on top of the mountains.

So, my current goal...Make it to the top of the next mountain!!

How will I get there?...Survive the deep, dark valley...

I am recovering, at the moment, from the flu. Unfortunately, my immune system apparently got tired of fighting for me and gave in. On the bright side, it forced me to take two days off work - which gave me my first break in ages!! (Not exactly the kind of break I wanted, though...)

This has proven the point that if you don't take care of yourself and you don't find ways to relieve your stress, it will indeed control you.

The process of studying and working has proven to be a major challenge for me in regards to finding balance in my life. I have, very obviously, not mastered this challenge yet! haha. I guess that just goes to show that I am human, just like the next person, and I still have struggles and challenges that I need to faithfully work towards overcoming.

So, I am going to make some very specific changes to my daily schedule with the attempt to get back on track and not let the stress of school/work push me to the edge of burnout. Looking ahead to next year I realize that, in actual fact, my schedule will not let up. While next year may be a bit more fun, the course planned for us is unrelenting and there are very few breaks on the schedule. So...I must find a way to overcome and find peace and enjoyment every day.

Some changes that I want to make for myself: Daily yoga/meditation, Listen to music, Use some daily affirmations, Take more breaks and only study a subject for two hours at a time, Schedule "time out" every single day!, Devote time to exercise at least three days a week, Get regular back massages, Avoid obsessing over grades.

Now, obviously saying these things doesn't actually accomplish them...So, I am hoping that good friends, like you, will help to hold me accountable to these commitments.

It's really about living life to the fullest and finding peace in the midst of chaos...

Mantra: "Don't just verbally commit yourself, but back-up your words with actions - Allow for peace in this present moment." ~ Namaste